Yup, there they were….
As if they were like those popular cheerleaders, blond and beautiful, jumping up and down, optimistic about what the next year would bring. And me: brace-face and four-eyed with wiry hair and blotchy skin sitting, sulking in the corner.
It’s hard. It’s hard knowing that this is not who am truly or who I want to be but rather a muddy reflection of what once was. I walked home tonight through the dark, dreary Vancouver night chanting under by breathe with each step I took, “I am content, I am happy, everything will be okay.”
Because in reality, everything will be okay and I am happy and I am content but sometimes, I forget.
And I think when we focus too much on what others are doing, what we are doing becomes out of focus. It’s called depth of field. I can focus on what is in the distance…
or I can focus on what’s right in front of me.
There is a time and a place for everything. Sometimes, we need to keep the finish line in focus but I would argue that most of the time, the journey is just as important. At the forefront of my mind is the thought, if I were to die tomorrow, would I wish that I had spent more time with my children, cuddled more, taken life a little slower and more intentionally.
Within the last couple of days there have been some things that have come up that have caused us to question what direction we were headed in. We became distracted with the paths others were on and lost sight of our own, which is especially easy to do when there are unexpected turns and bumps in the road. Meanwhile we look across the fence to see others on what seems to be a highway to success.
The thing is, they are not us. We may be travelling in the same direction for a while, we may even share the journey for a season or two, but we have all come from different places and we are all headed to different places….and that’s okay.
Somebody said of Down Syndrome: we’ll get there eventually, but we’re just taking the scenic route instead. I think this might be applicable to our lives as well. Us. The Ewerts – just taking the scenic route. The roads sometimes aren’t as smooth or as wide (which means you have to drive a lot slower) but we get to see a whole lot more. Anyone who has taken the scenic route up Vancouver Island knows exactly what I am talking about.
So here is to sitting back, putting on some good tunes….we get there when we get there and until then, we have annual New Years’ picnics on the beach.
|So bad news and good news, the red boots are finished, cracked…no longer waterproof. On the up side, after trying to squeeze my “muscular” calves into Kamiks for half the price I realized that Hunter made a style called “huntress”. Slightly shorter and much wider for us short and stout type (but unfortunately they didn’t have them in red).
I just had to share the good news.