A few mornings ago I managed to wake up before the children stirred and slip out unnoticed. I love mornings…or I loved mornings until I had children who also loved mornings.
There is something magical about the stillness. While the sun rises blanketing the world with light all you can hear are the sighs and stretches of an otherwise bustling city.
I got in my car and drove to the end of the world. And while I so badly want you to know the beauty of such a place, to try and describe it would be an injustice: the way the trees create a portal to a place where time stands still. The cemetery: bright, half full but well worn like a antique farmhouse table. The smell of the forest floor mixed with the salty sea breeze. The silence. The solitude and the break where the sun pours though the trees until you emerge to a cliff’s edge and look out at the end of the world.
I often find myself hesitant to visit because I know I will be alone but it is always worth the trip and for whatever brief moments I spend there I feel like myself.
And when you have spent 4 months in transition feeling anything but your optimistic, energetic self it is an invaluable experience. I long for peace, inside and out.
Six days until I arrive in the place I will call home for the next chapter of our lives. The mornings are getting cooler and with the leaves turning creativity is starting to burn. I know it will take time to get settled, settled into school, into home, into friendships, into routine but I have hope that Autumn will bring new beginnings, contentment, refreshment and feeling a little more like myself.
If you think about please do keep Jakob in your prayers. He is the one I worry the most about. While he loved preschool he knows he does not want to go to school in Cambridge. He knows his school name, is trying to convince me that his teacher, Mrs. Holt is a boy and he is warming up to the idea of making new friends. It will be a major adjustment for him to go to a new school, in a new country, all day, with people who talk funny :). He has such a gentle and compassionate spirit and I know he will love it in no time but I don’t want to hurt him, nor do I want him to get hurt or loose the innocence which makes him so special.