Ever since Jakob was an infant he has loved sleeping in our bed but because of all the fear mongering they do around SIDS, I rarely allowed him the luxury. In fact, he wasn’t home two weeks before I had to move the bassinet out of our room and put him in the crib in his own bedroom as he was a noisy little sleeper and his grunts and groans would often keep me awake. But in the morning, as dawn was just breaking and he would wake to nurse, I would snuggle him in tight beside me in the bed and he would be in heaven’s peace. Four years later, and between mommy and daddy is still his favourite place to sleep. The only problem is, now, he isn’t an itty bitty baby but a big boy with pointy elbows, knees and little heels that dig into your back just when you are drifting off to sleep….again. And as much as I love the cuddles, I just don’t sleep the same when he finds his way into our room in the middle of the night. But I just can’t turn him away and here is why:
When I was little I always crawled into my mom’s bed with her, and if she wasn’t around I would crawl into my grandparents bed. For a time, when we lived with my grandparents, I remember often wanting to go to bed in their bed and then my poor grandfather would have to carry me to my own bed after I had fallen asleep. I moved in with my grandparents when I was in grade one and we lived there until I was in grade 6, so you do the math- I wasn’t a weightless four year old. Why did I do that? Could it have been the insecurity I felt because of the divorce, or moving, or transition? Regardless, there is this nagging feeling inside of me that says it isn’t natural sleep alone. At almost 30 years old, I don’t like sleeping alone so why should I expect my four year old to? At the moment he does share a bedroom with his sister (who, by the way, has never had an attachment to mommy’s bed) but there is something about the comfort of a parent or a spouse beside you while you sleep. I have heard many people say that they can’t sleep if their spouse is away.
But this Momma is getting quite exhausted. Between a sick little girl up in the night and a little boy sharing the “family bed”, lack of sleep is starting to wear on me like an ill-fitting pair of shoes: a little cramped and outdated. I am one of those people that NEED my sleep but am not sure if it’s time to “lay down the law” and make Jakob stay in his own bed or ride it out a bit longer, and if I do, how to cope. Thoughts?
By the way, if you would like to read more on Co-sleeping click here.