Recently, a few blogs that I follow have been posted somewhat out-of-the-ordinary posts that allow their readers a glimpse into their souls: a small picture of what makes them tick as they share tidbits of their lives that shaped who they are and to be honest I find the concept strangely appealing. I have always struggled with my blog and more specifically the purpose of it. It has evolved in different ways as I went from two blogs ( The Adventures of Us and Pursuit of Truth) to one (One Beautiful Life), which is quite random at times and never really the same…until recently. I feel that if I set a purpose for my blog and stuck with it than it would be more attractive to a set audience who would be faithful readers and attract more readers of that type. But then I remind myself that, at this juncture I am not Kelle Hampton nor out to make a profession out of blogging and no one has offered to pay me for doing it so whoever wants to read it will read it and if nobody reads it then at least I have it for myself: a record, a journal a place of my own in this massive cyber space. But having had this conversation a few times before, I will also add that I think at some level every blogger hopes that what they have to say might encourage and inspire another so comments and followers are always a nice pat on the back.
So where am I going with this? Well for this one post I am going to let my mind and fingers go free. I have escaped from the house without children and in any instance where I don’t have to think about snacks and diapers my mind gets giddy and begins to think in ways I otherwise try and not make a habit out of in fear of pure frustration.
But this morning….
This morning I sit at the renown Savino’s in Cambridge city centre eating THE BEST chocolate croissant I have ever had and drinking a lovely latte which will, sooner than I know it, will need to be topped up. Thank you James for the tip.
Let’s begin with Cambridge. How do I really feel about Cambridge?
I love being back in a city. I lived in the Vancouver area for all but 6 years of my life (college and most recently in Three Hills) and I always loved it and NEVER got tired of being in the hustle and bustle. I am a patio dweller. As we speak my fingers are numb in the crisp autumn air and I am pretty sure I have grown a tumour the size of an orange as I breathe in second hand smoke but I love it. I love watching people come and go, I love watching vendors at the market prepare for their day, I love feeling as though I am part of it: a community, a system, a story. I also love being in such a rich hub for progress. As the Master of St. Edmunds noted in his speech last night at the Beginning of the year dinner, the students are part of something bigger than the University they are part of the college: an intersection of ideas where to quote George Bernard Shaw, “If I have an apple and you have an apple and we exchange apples, we will each still have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange ideas, we will each have two ideas.”
There is lots to offer in this well programmed, well equipped city as it is, much to my surprise, one the most child-friendly places I have been. There is never a shortage of things to do for neither Ben, as a total music geek, nor me and the kids.
I do miss some of the excess of North America as mentioned in this post but part of me is enjoying the “less”. I hope to do a post soon entitled Notable Cambridge in which I explain things which are different and I find notable and explain just what this “less” is. But I will give you an example. Children’s books: if you go into a book store you will be hard pressed to find a hardcover book, unless of course it is a board book. Less.
I love watching Ben thrive here. I think his brain may explode not to mention his heart as he converses with people who speak his language and are passionate about the things that speak to the deepest parts of his soul.
I love watching Jakob learn and grow here. The kid can practically read and write after just 4 weeks of school. And he loves it. He loves his class, his teachers, his new friends and even his uniform. I enjoy taking him to school and having time with Ella and then picking him up only to stroll over to the park or make a trip to the library. And I am looking forward to a week long half term break coming up at the end of the month.
I love that many days the thoughts that run through my head are “Why stay in town? What will I do….why go home, what will I do?” And so I just stay in town and wander the streets, watching people, taking pictures and spending time with Ella. I hope to be able to take in some university experiences like lectures, dinners and concerts but at this point in the year it is still new and I am okay just to watch Ben enjoy himself.
But here is the honest to goodness reality of my new found freedom: I feel as though this is the last year of my life. I almost expect the rapture to happen at the end of the year or perhaps, I just hope it will because in a year, reality will sink in. We will have to pay back what we have spent and get back down to “real life”. Ben is optimistic that he will find a good job…I am somewhat more skeptical. I will have to take Jakob out of his fabulous school and probably go back to work. Which, then causes me to think about the age old question of “what do I want to be when I grow up” because it sure isn’t an account manager at a financial institution.
While, I possibly could think up what I see to be an ideal story, I know God probably has other plans and I fear what those are because right now, I just don’t feel like being tested or refined and would instead, like something wonderful to happen without resistance. I want opportunity to prove fruitful and for a hobby to turn into a lucrative means to pursuing higher education for myself and Ben. One can only hope.
Well, while I could go on….and on….and on, this has gotten very long and my cup is almost empty for the second time so I will sign off until the next time I grant myself intellectual freedom. Thanks for indulging me.
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