It seems like this past week….past month really, has been filled with highs and lows. Its been a kaleidoscope of ideas and emotions keeping me from focus and reality. It generally happens when my children are sick, but it seems worse this time round. Seemingly more than usual I am having trouble making sense of the world around me, my circumstances and life in general. I find myself disorganized, thrown off by the smallest change, tossed into a tizzy of emotional chaos. But here is the odd thing – right now, aside from Ella’s epic flu bug, life is good. I am so grateful for the friends that I have both here and away. Our life is anything but dull.
So let me take you through some of the highs and lows…and maybe you will get what I mean. And I’ll insert cute pictures to lighten the lows.
LOW-So Ella has been sick. She ran a fever for 6 days (not your run of the mill 24 hour flu). Through it all, I wasn’t overly worried, it was very flu-like (as opposed to Jakob’s epic sickness which lasted from May to August and ranged from low-grade fever to strep throat…twice.) But it did get the wheels in my head turning – which is never good and of course it went straight to leukemia. Up to this point I have no reason to believe Ella might have L** but her sickness brought to mind her medical history, how she has been sick far less than her perfectly healthy “normal” brother, and how at her one year check up, they did a Thyroid test but didn’t get enough blood to do a CBC (standard for the one year lab work). They didn’t do a test that had been requisitioned by our very capable Doctor who made sure a req was put in before he moved away. And since, he moved away nobody seemed to care enough that it got done correctly. Needless to say, no CBC and a child who just happens to have Down Syndrome and has a much higher chance of suffering from such disease. You see my issue. So finally, I take Ella into the new Doctor, who is very nice to silly woman bringing her child in with standard flu like symptoms and he humours me with a new req for a CBC. That was Friday – probably won’t hear anything until Monday or Tuesday. No big deal, no change from two weeks ago when I was perfectly fine with the fact that the CBC hadn’t been done when it should have.
HIGH- Yesterday was inter-racial marriage support group (aka- a bunch of foodies who happen to be married to different ethnicities) and it was MEXICAN night! Home-made Sangria, Homemade flour tortillas, Mexican rice, beans, burritos, churros, flan, good coffee and great company! It was delightful, as always. Good work ladies!
HIGH- We threw today’s plans of putting up the Christmas tree and went to the Spruce Meadows Christmas Market instead. I had wanted to go yesterday but poor weather held us back – so today, we packed up the kids and savoured a Christmas memory. They have tonnes of Christmas goodies, live music, Irish dancers, a petting zoo, pony rides and food…oh the food. Bratwurst and sauerkraut, Ukrainian perogies and sausage, strudel…. Well worth the drive.
LOW- We were supposed to go to a birthday party tonight but Ben had been the one corresponding with the organizer. We drive past the Arts Academy surrounded by cars and I ask what time it starts. Ben finally calls organizer to find out it starts….NOW. This is at 5:30 when we pull into our drive way….Did I mention we are singing at this birthday party….did I mention we hadn’t practiced.
HIGH- It was a really great party! There was babysitting, good food, old friends and a bunch of guests performed musical numbers. I wish I had been in better spirits to begin with…..
LOW- Check facebook when I get home to find out a DS baby had been abandoned at a hospital in Arkansas. This kills me.
So there you have it. Seems simple enough when I type it out and yet there is more to it. There is an internal struggle that causes me to question if God is trying to speak to me and I am not listening. I really don’t know. We are approaching a time of transition which will reveal itself in due time so perhaps I will be a little overwhelmed with life until then. And in the meantime, I just keeping counting the many blessings in this one beautiful life.