The Children

I don’t even know what they said but I saw their exchange of smirking expressions. Jakob watched them. He heard. Then he went over and joined Ella on the teeter totter. One of many more encounters I am sure. I can’t help but wonder what he thought as he watched those two older boys and saw the way they reacted to Ella. Whatever his thoughts, he knew the answer was to not join them but rather join her. His actions made a statement – they said that this girl is loved and worth my attention. Even though she is different, I will play with her.

Just one more way that shows that because of Ella, Jakob sees the world through an entirely different set of lenses. I’ve seen this with Audrey as well.

Ella is the only baby sister Jakob has known.

“When do you think Audrey will talk? When she is 4?”
“When do you think Audrey will walk?”

Jakob can’t help but assume that Audrey will progress as Ella did. The strange thing is that we have never hidden from Jakob that Ella has Down Syndrome. In fact we have even tried to explain it to him but it never sticks. It just doesn’t matter to him.

I love that.

He is such an amazing big brother. He loves. He loves so gently and compassionately when the time calls for it.

Then there is Ella. Dear sweet Ella. She loves in a different way. She likes to mother Audrey and it has been fun to watch as she takes her own babies and mimics what she sees, bouncing them as she sushes them to sleep and changes their diapers.

Audrey is two months. Nine weeks today. She is a blessing. She is light. Her easy going nature has continued on into her second month and it gives me rest. She is smiling and cooing, eating as can be expected (every three hours or so) and sleeping in between during the night.

She is my solace during this dark time.

The winds are changing…again…but this time, more painful than ever before.

…so I hold my littles tight and wait for the sun to rise.