…And I think God knew [my reservations] too and in order to shake my prudent heart he would have to do something big. REALLY. BIG. A game-changer – something that would cause us to do a complete U-turn so that it would be unrealistic and not logical to continue on the path we were headed. Not something that would relieve our dependency but something that would multiply it tenfold…
You see, I think the fundamental flaw with our plan was that the end wasn’t really what we wanted either. It was just what we thought we were supposed to want. North America tells us that life is about economic security, consumerism, capitalism, and success but Ben and I…we don’t really care about that stuff. We don’t. He’s a musician for goodness’ sake. We followed our hearts, not our heads. Its what keeps us loving life, loving each other and what keeps us going when all seems lost, which it has…on more than one occasion.
When I was a child, I would ride along with my dad on the Hope-Princeton Hwy here in BC as it followed the ebb and flow of the river and I would dream of a home. A home that, at Christmas time, would be full of people – family and friends, happily gathered together, eating and laughing with children playing under foot and around the 8 foot tree that would be the centre piece of our living room. Even in my imagination I remember the warmth, the joy and the fulfillment of those moments.
You see, because while there was warmth in my childhood memories of Christmas time and other times, my family was broken (or so my little 6 year old mind perceived). So when I thought about my future it didn’t include a career. I never dreamed of being a lawyer or a doctor. I dreamed of being a mom.
And not just a mom of two…
God knew. God knows.
Baby
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Family
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Maternity
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motherhood
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