Let’s talk about it.

Sometimes, I am so much more fragile than I would like to admit. I do not like to be vulnerable or wear my emotions on my sleeve but I have discovered that it makes me no less resilient to injuries, sickness, pain or suffering.

A couple days ago Bell hosted a let’s talk day  to raise awareness for mental health but the truth is, on that day, I was too weighed down by my own mental health to talk about it. I don’t have clinical depression, bipolar or any other diagnosed mental issue however I think I have a pretty good idea of what living with poor mental health is like and the affect that it can have on your family, your work and your soul. In fact, most of my family suffers from some kind of mental illness.

Lately, I have been able to make a bit more sense of my own ups and downs, which seem so debilitating at times so in the spirit of “talking about it”, I want to share with you some of my thoughts surrounding mental illness. First of all, while many people are diagnosed with mental illness many people are not. I, personally believe that illnesses like depression need at times, to be treated because the hormonal balance in our body is simply not functioning correctly but I also believe that there are times in our lives when depression is a way of telling us that something in our body, mind or spirit needs to be healed. It brings us to a point where we can do nothing, so that the part of us that is wounded can be restored.

A simple way to see it, is that our soul is sick. This is how I felt this past week. I felt all the fatigue of the flu in my body, my mind and my spirit, perhaps my spirit most of all. For an inexplicable reason, I could not muster up the energy to anything beyond the necessary and if you knew me at all, you would know, that is not me. But you see I was suffering from the soul flu and I needed time to heal. For some, it takes longer than others and to be honest, I still feel like I have a lot of healing to do. A couple nights ago I made the classic mistake of overdoing it when I started to feel just that little bit better and then yesterday, it was like my soul needed to go back to bed again, curl up to a hot water bottle and watch all 10 seasons of Friends back to back. 

Sometimes the soul flu happens because we have overdone it (like we did between moving and Christmas) and sometimes it happens because we need to make things right between God and ourselves. Yes, I said it – sometimes depression is the outworking of inner turmoil.

But whatever the cause, I encourage you to listen to your body. Take care of yourself, because there are people that love you and need you and a God that cares for you.