My term paper is due tomorrow.
But the girl won’t go to sleep.
I have created my own problem really. You see, I lie with her as she drifts off to sleep.
It goes back to that night in the hospital. The first night. When I vowed that I would protect her and love her no matter what happened. No matter what the diagnosis, no matter what the road ahead looked like. No matter what I wanted her to know that she is always. ALWAYS loved. CHERISHED. WANTED.
And I held her.
And I never let go.
Because she is my baby.
I never want her to feel abandoned. Or alone.
And because when it comes to the last day, mine, or hers, I don’t want to regret not holding her enough, telling her that I love her enough, telling her God loves her enough.
So here we are.
Yes, there are other ways. We did them well with our son.
But with her, with her it was different. it is different. still.
So I put on the music.
And I sit here whilst she plays.
She kisses her baby and puts her to bed. She has learned this from me.
And I wait…until she is dreaming sweet dreams.