The Weekend was….
hot pink toes to make the snow seem not so cold…
PJ’s all day long
and a good close to a very lovely February…
This month there has been more looking forward than looking back. Looking forward with hope to dreams that are becoming plans….And it is good.
I used to always dwell on the past. I am by nature, what you would call Mel-uhn-kol-ik. I am by nature an artist. I am by nature a whimsical, grab life by the horns, romanticize the heck out of life type of dreamer. Or as Jaques would say in As You Like It “I can suck melancholy out of a song as a weasel sucks eggs. ”
But more often than not these types of people just repel anyone who encounter them. Not only that, but the unknown that lingers within their darkly clouded minds frighten others and so I restrain myself, bring order to chaos and place value in keeping it “all together”. Thick skin has been my friend.
But like in all things, there is a balanced to be achieved. The idea of making life seem all gum drops and lollipops appeals to me at times, because that is what people like to hear. Nobody wants to hang out with Debby Downer all the time. But the reality of what makes me who I am is simply God revealing His glory through seemingly dreary circumstances and they are to be rejoiced in. And here is why: In church today, I was thinking about the verse in 1 Peter that says, “Cast your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” I have been pondering this verse for the last couple of months, questioning its truth. “He cares for you…” Does he care for me? If he cared for me why does he let me suffer? Why does he not give me what I want? Why does he not enable my perfect plan? Then, as they prepared the elements for communion, he spoke to me. “I died for you.” What greater gift could there be than salvation through the forgiveness of sins. He died on the cross so that I could live. What better way could He show He cares?
It doesn’t stop there though. I have been a believer for a long time and my faith has kept my life sheltered through endless storms. I am still here. I am not pregnant in some gutter. I am not hopelessly searching for….something….anything….in alcohol, drugs or any other vice. I am here and I am well.
God gave me the grace and strength I needed in the time when I needed it -even when I thought I would not come out unscathed or out at all.
There is value in retrospect. There is value in reflection. It makes us grateful for the battles won and blessings granted. It gives us clear vision for the future and hope.
So in March, I cleanse. My mind is like my basement, full of boxes and stuff that had no where else to go. Its time to sort it all out, toss what I don’t need, and pack what has made me who I am but doesn’t suit being hung above the fire place. I will reflect, rejoice, mourn, grieve and learn.
And in practicing the principle that what is done in body reflects the spirit, I will also do a physical cleanse.
Welcome March. I’m ready.
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