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    Hi, I’m Krista.

    Strategic communicator and storyteller.

    I am the wife of a very talented musician who takes me around the world in pursuit of excellence. Mama to Jakob, Audrey and Ella, who just happens to have Down Syndrome.
    And an aspiring disciple of Jesus, defender of the oppressed, writer, graphic designer and photographer.

    I write and speak on navigating through the fog of life…you know, when things don’t go exactly as planned and am fuelled by a passion to amplify the voices of those on the margins…
    oh, and coffee…lots of coffee.

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Why I don’t like Mother’s Day

May 8, 2016

I don’t like Mother’s Day.

For some reason it causes my heart to become paralyzed with conflicted emotions and unarticulated thoughts. It isn’t as simple as when I was a child. I remember, as a child, pulling out my grandmother’s toast and tea set from her china cabinet and first, with the help of my brother, preparing breakfast-in-bed for my mom, then taking breakfast upstairs to my grandmother’s room. A simple act for the women who carried me though life, taught me grace and strength.

Now, I am a mother.

In my catatonic state I am even having trouble knowing how to unpack that sentence. Motherhood has been the greatest challenge of my life, or series of challenges I should say. It has given me the greatest joy as well as the deepest heartache I have ever known (and we are only 8 years in). It is a great privilege and a great responsibility. I cherish these years, all the while looking forward to full nights of sleep, eating a meal without someone touching me and going to the bathroom…alone. Today, I give a salute to all the women out there in the trenches with me and I honour those women who have gone before us.

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But I also know that for many women, Mother’s day is filled with grief and I don’t know what to say to you. You long to be in the trenches and yet, your time has not come. You’re right – you have nothing to prove your motherhood. You don’t receive a flower, the blessing is not given to you and yet, your heart aches. I grieve with you.

And then there are those for whom their mother is not here to give a blessing to.

This is the first mother’s day without her.

We didn’t call her to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day, we didn’t send flowers or cards, we didn’t even talk about her, not a word was uttered. But I know we both thought about her, unsure of what to say or how to grieve. We grieve.

Perhaps one day, I will be able to articulate my grief but until then, it remains an integral part of the kaleidoscope of life – constantly changing with the shifting light and twists and turns of life. This I can say however, she leaves a great legacy – his name is Ben. For this, I am eternally grateful.

I still can’t believe she is gone.

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Parenting

Krista Ewert

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  • About Me

    Hi, I’m Krista.

    Strategic communicator and storyteller.

    I am the wife of a very talented musician who takes me around the world in pursuit of excellence. Mama to Jakob, Audrey and Ella, who just happens to have Down Syndrome.
    And an aspiring disciple of Jesus, defender of the oppressed, writer, graphic designer and photographer.

    I write and speak on navigating through the fog of life…you know, when things don’t go exactly as planned and am fuelled by a passion to amplify the voices of those on the margins…
    oh, and coffee…lots of coffee.

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