Being healthy means more than just eating right. We, like most families have had our share of trials. We have experienced life to the fullest, when we felt like we were on cloud nine and everyday was full of possibilities. We have also seen the darkest of valleys during the times when we wondered how we could possibly take another step. Most would have given up. There are times when I wanted to give up, but, quite frankly, didn’t know how. But even when there was no drive, no spirit and no money, I believe it was the habits we have established as a family over 10 years of marriage, that kept us…if not strong, at the very least, alive. You see because it is in the trials and the refining, that you find out what you are really made of and what your relationships are really made of.
Here are 10 habits of healthy, happy families totally worth giving a try if you don’t already do them…for the good times and the bad.
1. Have a bedtime ritual
Ever since Jakob was a baby we have had a bedtime ritual: bath, book, prayer, bed. As the kids get older, we don’t make them have a bath every night but we do read a story and pray with them. Not only does it allow them to decompress before bed, but reading also builds language skills and praying helps them process their day.
2. Be active together
Lead by example. Make being active a natural and fun part of their lives. To be honest, we don’t get “exercise” in everyday but we do try to go for walks or bike rides regularly, play at the park or go for hikes when the weather is nice.
3. Eat together
This is easy for me, because I love to eat. Our family eats breakfast together everyday and quite often, we eat dinner together as well. I’m not talking about all gathering around the big screen with our TV trays set before us (does anyone even own TV trays anymore?). No, we sit down at the table, we thank God for our food and we eat our meal together – no technology, no toys, just us. You can always take it a step further and have traditions that surround mealtimes. For us, this means reading from the Bible after breakfast and praying for our day.
4. Encourage independence
It’s hard. Man, is it hard…for many reasons – you are in a hurry, you want them to need you, you are a control freak (like myself), but the bottom line is not only will you be glad later that they are independent but I have a sneaking suspicion that a little independence will also do wonders for their confidence. Too often children do not try because they are afraid they can’t. When they learn that they can, the world looks entirely different.
5. Take time to decompress
Introvert or Extrovert – we all need to decompress from time to time…some more often than others. Kids, especially this day in age, need to learn how to be quiet, to decompress, to listen to their bodies and their souls. If they see you take the time you need to be healthy, they will more easily adapt the healthy habit of, what I like to call, decompression. Be still or do an activity that helps you release your mind from the worries that wind you up.
6. Give thanks
Gratitude. It’s a habit and it is one that I want to teach my kids early. Give thanks. We are given so much, we are blessed with more than we often deserve and yet, we are born with a “want more” mentality. “I want as much Lego as Johnny!” Help your kids see what they have instead of what they don’t have.
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| our thanksgiving tree |
7. Say sorry
So many of these habits have a common theme, lead by example. Sometimes, as parents we carry too much pride and are fearful that if our child sees our weakness, or failure when we are wrong that they will not respect us as much but nothing could be further from the truth. We all make mistakes – the sooner your kids learn that, the better. Say sorry. Say sorry to them and ask them for forgiveness when you have wronged them.
8. Be the change you want to see
Again, lead by example. It is easy enough to say that we value virtues such as compassion and generosity, but if your kids never see this from the people they look up to the most (ahem, that is you) they will never understand it.
9. Help each other
We often call on our kids to help us. Help us set the table, help us clean up – I think it is important that they learn that they have responsibilities, but on the flip side I try to find ways to help them too. Not in the obvious, homework or tying shoes kind of way, but in ways that matter to them. For example, helping put together all 3800 pieces of the Lego Death Star.
And finally,
10. Be present
This one, I learned from the Fish guys in Seattle when I was working in finance but it is truly applicable to all areas of life. As moms, we have busy lives – could there ever be a more obvious statement. At any given time we are thinking about 500 things at once. But when we are so consumed with what we need to get done, it keeps us from being fully present. When you listen, listen with full attention. When they need a cuddle, drop everything to just be present and cuddle. Whatever you are doing, whether it be for yourself, for God, for your husband or for your children, no matter if it’s something you love or a chore you despise, in the good times and the bad, be present.
What are some of your family’s healthy habits? Add them in the comments!
My Grandpa read this and chimed in with his suggestion, “Be content” and my Mom said, “Acknowledge the Achievement – recognize a job well done instead saying it wasn’t good enough.”
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