Word of the Day-Inspiration

Inspiration……what inspires you? And why is that such a hard question? I believe that it is because it invokes a certain level of vulnerability that is socially unacceptable. Do we even want to be inspired anymore? Perhaps for some the mention of inspiration, triggers fears of failure and ridicule. If we are inspired, we might try, and if we try, we might fail and then we will be embarrassed and no longer comfortable.
I think I was born cynical. I was a brick wall growing up, sarcastic and unavailable. Emotions always ran high in the Lee household and there was always an excess. In response, I became closed off, inexpressive and unmoved- I was the pillar of strength in my family. I would watch others weep as they were touched, moved, inspired and wondered all the while if there was something wrong with me because I did not feel the same.
Perhaps it was beneficial for a time as I valued the intellect first and pursued knowledge and logic. But like in all things, there must be balance. And although I was inspired by the knowledge I retained I remained somewhat unmoved.
Well, lets just say, all that changed when I had babies. I lost my mind and have become an emotional train wreck waiting to happen. Because like in the past I am often inspired and desperately crave inspiration but now…..I am MOVED. I long to talk to inspiring people and to hear “yes, uh huh. I know what you mean and feel the same way. We should act, what could we do?” And there are so many issues that trigger responses-logical and emotional. I am becoming less afraid to tell others about what inspires me, perhaps in attempt to find those who are like-minded. With this however, also comes rejection. It is inevitable that there will be those who feel I am rocking the boat or simply don’t have the time or energy for such inspiration, because lets face it, it can be emotionally draining.
I have little purpose in writing this except to get my thoughts out there….and maybe even find someone who “Gets it”.