Today, I had a bit of a meltdown. I called a girlfriend and she suggested I stop sugar-coating reality and just lay it bare for the world to read.
“Write a post about it. We all read your blog, just be honest with people. You try to save face but then people don’t know what is really going on.” I blame her.
It started from the moment I woke up but climaxed about an hour ago. You see, in an attempt to save sanity I took the kids outside. It’s a beautiful day here. Audrey napped this morning for about 5 minutes so was completely exhausted and I obviously was getting no work done because my nanny is sick and the kids are off school.
(What are they doing right now you ask? Well, I should be feeding them lunch but instead am letting them go into a screen induced comatose state in which they forget their hunger)
So back to this morning when I was getting NO work done and just getting frustrated so took kids to the park. When Jakob said he was getting hungry and thirsty I took the opportunity to seek out more caffeine at our local coffee shop. Jakob found a nice little table in the back and we sat down with some scones and water and a coffee for mama. Then in come two people I had overheard at the counter while I was ordering. They sit down beside us. The tables are quite close together and this arrangement forced one of them to share a couch with Ella, Audrey and I. So let’s just note, it’s their fault for choosing that spot. As I listened to these young single lovelies discuss business I gathered that one was a successful florist and one was a graphic designer hoping to get business from young florist. Meanwhile, Audrey is starting to lose it. She is super tired and inconsolable, so I tell the kids it’s time to go. Here I am – Audrey is getting fussier and fussier while Ella moves slower than molasses in January putting her two coats on and I am listening to these people use the work “like” way too much whilst discussing business in their perfectly planned outfits and sipping cappuccinos. 5 minutes later, Audrey is really freaking out and Ella is still putting on her coats and I think to myself, this is bullshit. This is why I am doomed, because while others are out there getting the business over cookies and tea, this mompreneur is desperately trying to make enough money to support her family but with no time to do it. It’s like I’m trying to swim against the current with 3 kids and a ten tonne weight tied to my ankle while everyone else is just passing me by and not even offering to help.
You guys, I am so frustrated. I am frustrated to tears because all I am trying to do is make a life for me and my kids. I have learned that while I love my husband, he can’t do that for me. I just need to do it. I am taking responsibility and determined to make a life. But here is the thing – I need help, or at least support.
I feel like the moment someone finds out you are selling something – be it a product or a service they avoid you like the plague or ignore you. I talked to my dad this morning. MY DAD! I had messaged him about something and without even looking at it wrote it off. I’m not trying to sell you a purple unicorn!! I am trying to make money providing a service you need or selling you a product you already use for a VERY comparable price.
If there is one thing I will take away from this shit time in my life is that I will always be a cheerleader. I will. Because people need cheerleaders and you know what? It doesn’t cost you anything. I will like your page, or your post and if you ask me to buy baby wash, I will buy it because you know what? I use it anyway, so why would I save $3 buying it from a store when I could support a fellow mom who is just trying to make a way to stay home with her kids?
I want to give a huge shout out to my mom. My mom is my biggest cheerleader and I am so so so thankful for her. She will always like my posts, share my page, buy my products and be there when I need a shoulder to cry on.
So there you have it. Things really suck right now and I am desperately trying to get my kids to dry land. If you want to lend a hand or be a cheerleader there are lots of ways to do it. Did you know that every time you like a post on Facebook my reach grows exponentially? Reach matters to me because I have the potential to make money writing sponsored posts but companies won’t hire me unless I have influence. What is influence? Influence is the number of twitter followers I have, FB page likes I get, Pageviews on my blog, all that stuff – it’s not narcissistic, it’s business. Think of me like a busker. You read a post and like it, throw a penny in the hat by clicking that “like” button. Need a logo, website, photography or graphic design services? I do that – pick me.
If I message you about any of the above know that it took a lot of courage for me to put myself out there and ask for the business, so just message back. It doesn’t need to be long and you know what, if you don’t need what I offer just say so.
More than that folks, be aware of what is happening around you. Seriously. Moms work hard. Yesterday, I went to Costco with all three kids. I stood with Audrey and Ella while I sent Jakob to get some hot dogs (thankfully he is big enough and confident enough to do this as I look on). As I am holding Audrey, with Jakob keeping Ella at a table, I’m trying to get ketchup and mustard on the bun and not on my shirt, clearly struggling. I can’t even tell you how grateful I would have been if someone offered to help. Offer to help. Be kind. It costs nothing. NOTHING!
There you have it. The brutally honest post I will regret publishing later but here is what I told my girlfriend. I am at a really desperate time in my life and I am willing to listen to ANY and ALL advice that people give me because I am beyond preserving my own pride in order to give our family a fighting chance.