There was a time when I took my camera everywhere. I held no reservations about looking like a tourist everywhere I went…and then suddenly, without even noticing, I became self-conscious. Is that it? Or did the novelty just wear off…or did I get too preoccupied with taking photos for money instead of using my camera as a tool to help me see the world in a different, more artistic, optimistic kind of way?
There was a time when I saw the beauty in life and couldn’t wait to share it with you.
I look back at shots that I would never pause to find, let alone capture now. I take fewer and fewer photos – maybe because of my introduction to the iphone, perhaps because I am too busy or perhaps because beauty seems so far away at times…
And yet, today, I was overwhelmed, once again by how much love I have for my children and believed, for even just a moment, that my life is truly beautiful and not the chaotic mess that spins me into an anxious tizzy most days. Ella is a toddler in a five year old’s body and she needs me and I love that. As difficult as it is to get dinner made, I love that she needs to cuddle after a long day at school and then needs to hold my hand all evening until it is, at last, time for bed.
And Jakob – my energetic, sweet, sensitive boy who tonight, as I laid down for a moment after supper told me that I could rest and he would help Ella. He willingly, and without being asked helped Ella wash her hair and get out of the bath and into her jammies.
Saturday was Christmas tree day. Things are a little crazy so we didn’t make it out to our favourite tree lot, but Jakob selected a beautiful, overpriced tree nonetheless and we spent the day re-arranging, decorating, sorting, decluttering…but not before Saturday morning Granville island coffee and muffins.