An Ode To My Computer

Some might say that I have an addiction, others might say that I should embrace the absence of my best friend here in Cambridge but really, I feel no shame about my relationship with my computer and quite frankly, I miss one of the key sources of my livelihood here in the UK.
You see, on Sunday, after Jakob had had his fill of learning about...ummm, Mars, I think it was, he shut my computer (no harder than usual) shutting it off, not to be awakened again. I don't think it was anything he did, I think maybe it was just time. It has carried a heavy load for the year I have had it and the years before, when a friend of ours owned it as a videographer. But my heart still broke as I took it in to the mac doctor and they told me it was probably the logicboard and would take a week to replace (oh, and did I mention a lot of money). I know what you are thinking, "you clearly have a computer to use so what is the big deal?" Because here in Cambridge, my computer is a true companion and here is why:

- My computer is my music source (Ben's computer doesn't have my superduper cool itunes library)
- My computer is my source of musical education as I still listen to Julie fairly regularly while I cook dinner.
- My computer is Jakob's educational source on all things planets (I downloaded Solarwalk so he could have an interactive tool to learn more about space)
- My computer is Jakob's distraction: Angry birds can buy me at least 15 min of silence.
- My computer is my portal to the outside world: we don't have cable, or a newspaper subscription so my only news source is the internet
- My computer is my portal to those I love: I don't have many friends here so I connect with friends back home using all those things some people view to be evil, such as email, facebook, twitter, etc. Did I mention I don't have a smart phone.
- My computer is my telephone: we use skype to talk to the grandparents...often.
- My computer is my entertainment: Pinterest
- My computer is my blank canvas for expression: I LOVE writing, I love sharing my writing, I love blogging.
- My computer allows me to process and share all of the pictures I take.
- My computer is my companion on the many nights Ben is out doing his music thang.

So for this week, posts may be sparse, or visually lacking, and for that I am sorry.
For now, enjoy a little blast from the past:

Mothering a Child With a Disability: The Secret Thoughts Part One

Truth be told, most of the time, being Ella's mommy is no different from being Jakob's mommy. The day begins early, I make breakfast and lunches, then go about our daily activities until it's time to make dinner and put them to bed. 

But there are times, when lingering thoughts poke and prod and I find myself wondering if the future will be as normal as the present.

One thought that I often have is in regards to children. Like most mothers my heart is full as Ella plays affectionately with her dolls. I watch her as she kisses and rocks her baby, and I wonder if this nurturing instinct will go with her into adulthood. We all hope for love for our children. I know I do. I hope Ella finds someone who thinks she is amazing and can be a reflection of Christ's love to her. And I hope she gets married but if she does, I wonder if her and her spouse will come to us one day and tell us that they, themselves want to have a baby. 

What will I say assuming they tell me before it is too late? Will they want me to say anything? Will they tell me because they want to know what I think, or will they just tell me, to let me know…their minds are made up. Believe it or not, it's not an easy "no."

It's not. 

There are so many if's, and's and but's before I ever have to face that moment but I still think about it. How will I be supportive? How will I give value to their desires while considering the reality of what life would be like for such a child? 

When we lived in Calgary, we went swimming with a little girl  whose grandmother faithfully cared for her. You see this little girl's mother had Atypical Down Syndrome (where the third chromosome 21 is not separate but rather attached to one of two, as a result the characteristics typical of Down Syndrome may or may not be as severe or look the same as a person with Trisomy21).

This has come up on the radar twice since I began writing this post. The first story being of a couple in the UK. The mother, Tricia has not only a physical disability but a mental disability as well, caused by a car accident when she was just 13 years old. Recently, her and her spouse and part-time caregiver, Steven gave birth to their daughter, Elizabeth. It is a beautiful story of a dream come true and you can read about it here.

The other story is of Gabriela, who has Down Syndrome and her boyfriend Fabio, who is also mentally disabled. In 2008 they gave birth to their daughter Valentina, who was born perfectly health!  After a long battle, they were finally able to obtain a birth certificate for their daughter. The grandmother was supportive of the couple and said that she would be taking care of the baby.

As I read their story wondered if I would consciously place myself in the grandmother's shoes. While I know it is possible for women with Down Syndrome to have children, I also know that their child would, inevitably...(or so I thought), have Down Syndrome. Disability or not I do know that I would have to do the feedings, the diapers and the crying all over again…

But I also wonder if this might not be an amazing gift to give both parent and child: the gift of each other.

Scavenge Hunt Sunday

Regretfully, I missed last week. Life was just busy. You can read about it here.
But this week, Daddy has taken the kids to the park and I have a moment to prepare before we head out tonight to our "Secret Dinner Party" and head out early again on Sunday morning for football, Church, Luncheon and Churchill...what happened to the Sabbath rest? Anyway, without further ado...


The rules are simple: 

1. Anyone can participate.
2. You're encouraged to take five new photos this week for the challenge. Creativity is also encouraged!
3. If you get stumped, you may use one photo from your archive (although I'm not too strict about it - I do my best to take fresh shots).
4. Link up here on Sunday (or Tuesday at the latest) - you can use the button above.
5. Leave comments for at least five entries around yours (we have so many new participants each week, this is the only way I know to be inclusive).
6. Have fun!

Smile

Stand Alone

Rusty or Old

Artificial
If you read the caption on my blog it says, "celebrating everything naturally beautiful" I officially have no pictures of something artificial....so weird.
Repeating Pattern

Foodie Friday: Pizza/Crostata Theory

Today, I want to talk about Pizza theory: bread covered in topping sealed (cheese) and baked.
A Crostata, in my opinion, is the dessert version of pizza.

I had bought some apricots the other day (not from my lovely Abel and Cole) and they were disgustingly bland. They looked "perfect" but had no taste, so I thought I would bake the taste out of them. I like Crostatas because they are a very easy alternative to pie and you can throw them together quickly with whatever you have getting ripe in refrigerator.

Basic Crostata Base Recipe


1 cup of flour
3 Tbsp brown sugar
Pinch of salt
1/2 cup of butter
2-3 Tbsp of cold water

Method:
Same as biscuits, mix together dry ingredients, cut in butter (food processor, pastry blender, I just use my hands) add enough water to form a firm dough. Form into a disc and refrigerate for about an hour.

Apricot Filler


About 7 apricots
3 Tbsp of honey
1/4 tsp of ground allspice

Toss.

Crumble Top (or sealer)

1/4 flour
1/4 cup of B. Sugar
1 tsp of cinnamon
1/4 cup of butter

Mix dry ingredients and cut in butter to form pea sized balls.

To Assemble:


Preheat oven to 450 degrees F
Roll out on a floured surface so that is about 1/4 inch thick. Place fruit in the centre
Sprinkle with crumble topping and fold up the edges to create a thick crust to keep it all in place.

Bake for about 20 minutes or until nice and golden.
Serve warm and it is especially good with ice cream.

Enjoy!

There Is A Little Girl Who Needs Your Prayers

Meet Violet...

This was Violet a few weeks ago....

And this is violet today....

Better than yesterday, but still in dire need of your prayers. You see, a few weeks ago Miss Violet needed surgery to fix a hole in her heart. Recovery,, however, is not going as planned and she had trouble keeping her oxygen levels up due to all the "gunk" in her lungs. 

To me, this story is sounding all-to-familiar. 

But not because I know what it is like first hand and I pray everyday that I won't have to...

but there are other mothers out there who do. 

They know how agonizing it is to sit in the hospital, 

watching your puffy, lifeless baby fight.

So please pray that Violet's Momma won't have to sit too much longer 

and instead be able to take her baby girl home.

One of my blogging and DS Momma heros is Courtney from 

The Adventures of Pudge and Biggie
and she just happens to be friends with Violet.

She is doing a giveaway to get people to pray and share Violet's story...

She knows about this stuff...first hand.....twice. 

So please check out her blog 

and pray for sweet Violet.

On Turning 30

Last Friday, a new bloggy friend featured a guest post by yours truly over at Dance For Five and then introduced me again in a little featurette this past week. I have been very grateful for Vivian for her friendship in the last couple weeks so if you have a chance head on over to check out her little space. 

I thought I would repost "On Turning 30" over here however, just in case any of you missed it. 

Enjoy!

[Set Scene: I have just finished putting the kids to bed and folding the laundry. The chances of my littlest one actually sleeping are slim to none, but I am going to act like she is. A glass of bordeaux has been poured and I am nibbling some dark chocolate. The hubby is in London, watching a Grammy nominated artist conducting a recording session with his professional choir as I sit alone in my living room in Cambridge, England.]

When I was younger, I suppose in my pre-teen and teen years, I always thought 30 would be the perfect age. I imagined myself, settled and married to a very handsome, very tall, very rich doctor, or lawyer or architect. I thought about how, by then, I would have matured into a very secure, confident and wise woman ready and willing to impart my knowledge and counsel on impressionable young minds. I pictured my adorable children, David and Charlotte, running around, yet playing very politely and contently with each other, as I cooked a fabulous meal that they all would love. I would map out plans for our rather large but comfortable home complete with a spacious porch overlooking the ocean.

Fast-forward and here we are: one month from my 30th birthday. And while I have two adorable children and a wonderful husband, that is about where the similarities end. We are anything but settled and the thought of imparting wisdom makes me run in fear of what I might say. But the funny thing is that I take a look around me, the opportunities that I have had, married to...a musician [gasp!], the blessings I have experience through my children, one of which has designer genes, and our funny little transient life and it seems like anything but a tragedy that I am not living the life I always dreamed of. Never would I have dreamed of living abroad. Never would I have dreamed of meeting the people I have through being a parent of a special needs child and never would I have dreamed of having the freedom to explore, experience and capture every moment of this One Beautiful Life that I am living.

Picnicking on New Years Day

Because sometimes, even the life we dream of is not nearly as wonderful as the life God has planned for us. It's just that our finite minds cannot even fathom the amazing plans that He has in store if we only keep our eyes on Him. I wish you all a wonderful weekend.

This is Me.

Every once and a while I will write a post that I think only the grandparents will find of any value: updates on the kids, pictures and the general play by play of our rather ordinary lives in a not-so-ordinary place. But then I end up getting a tonne of comments and exponentially more views and I am dumbfounded and undeserving. It never ceases to amaze me how God speaks through the mundane. Thank you. Thank you for your encouragement and reminding me that God can speak through me even though I am far away, even though I am not perfect, even though I am unqualified.
I am blessed. I am blessed because if you want to know a little secret...I LOVE blogging.
But here is the catch: as a friend of mine put it today in an email,

"I was thinking how the blog world is a powerful tool for many of us mothers. We can read things that encourage, inspire and spur us on to continue in our path of beautiful woman and motherhood. But,  they can also give a false ideal of perfection and everyone else’s togetherness. Sadly, as hard as I try to just be me, I still hear from people who think that I am super woman who is fulfilling all the facets possible as a mother. I know that in some ways we all see/hear what we want to so I choose to keep blogging as me as best I can."


All of this so very timely since yesterday I lost it. I lost my temper, I lost my grace and I lost myself as I yelled at my two and half year old to "GO. TO. SLEEP!" Thankfully, Ben came and traded off as I collapsed in a pool of tears, frantically searching for the reset button. Exhaustion-1 Krista-0.

We all have those moments....don't we?

I do, especially when I am tired and sick. I spent the rest of the day, fighting tears, eyes burning, nose raw finding every possible distraction from hot chocolate to a trip to the library to just get through the day until Ben came home, once again, after the kids were in bed. No thought to cross my mind was edifying nor uplifting, so, for the most part, I tried to just keep my mouth shut and when the coast was clear drew a lavender bath, ate the rest of my dark chocolate bar (which usually lasts the week) and climbed into bed to dream of my happy place.

This is me.

I just need you to know that

Continually seeking forgiveness,

Continually striving for holiness...

Fresh Week, Fresh Start, Fresh Look.

Notice anything different?

That's right, Ella got new glasses. We knew that Ella had astigmatisms in both eyes and was far-sighted but our ophthalmologist in Canada said she probably didn't need glasses enough to keep them on. So our appointments in the last couple of weeks at Addenbrooke's eye clinic seemed a little redundant. The ophthalmologist there however, asked if we had ever tried putting glasses on her, to which I replied "no". She suggested we give them a try, after all, they're free here, otherwise she might develop a squint.

With all the complaints around the NHS system I have to hand it to them. The system is similar to Canada's public health system but without the provincial premiums. They are also very thorough and efficient with all correspondence "posted" (mailed) to you in regards to appointments, assessments, vaccinations etc. I even got a letter in the mail the other day "inviting" me to get a cervical screening. I thought that was very nice of them although, it's not exactly the word I would use when referring to a PAP smear. That's the British for you. Always polite.
Back to the glasses. She seems to not mind them too much. For the first bit she kept trying to pull them off but she actually kept them on for all of lunch which I was very surprised at. They aren't the trendiest but I figure if she can get used to the benefit of them with "better fitting" glasses then we can get cooler ones later.
Besides, she is still pretty darn cute!

How was your weekend? Ours was pretty good. Jakob had a birthday party on Saturday and, thank the Lord, it was not at Funky's Funhouse (an actual place in Cambridge, similar to Chucky Cheese) but rather at a place called Wandlebury Hill. The weather held out so the kids could explore the nature reserve and get good and muddy.

Our friends had come over before we left so that Jakob and I could get a ride and they stayed after the party until their son woke up which was almost dinner time. It felt good to begin to settle into a friendship. The kind where you aren't afraid to throw out last minute dinner invites or impromptu coffee dates, conversation comes naturally and it can be about something other than the weather. We are thankful.

Sunday, Jakob had his first football session. I was really worried about how it would go much like I was worried about him starting school: he does not like new environments or people but once comfortable he thrives. Unfortunately however, it did not go as well as starting school and as expected he did not even want to come in the hall where the session was being held. Ben had to go to a boy's choir rehearsal at Jesus College so I was left with Ella as well as Jakob. He didn't want to have anything to do with it - he wanted to play football with his "new friends" (his school friends). So he was that kid and I was that parent making a fool of myself, first sitting with him just outside of the circle and then doing the exercises as he played rag doll. Finally, I told him that if he participated we could go get fries and chicken and pop. That perked him up and with 10 minutes left he really started to get into it....then I couldn't get him to leave. Why must we play these games?

Eating Fries and Chicken and Pop at 10:30 in the morning.

I love him dearly, but his personality is challenging at times. Then at other times, it is so rewarding. We have discovered that science is his favourite subject. Last week he was "Star of the Week" for understanding and being able to explain how electricity worked. He even drew a lovely little picture. They have also been learning about the planets and solar system so on Saturday, he wanted to learn more about the Sun. We looked up videos and internet resources - he was enthralled. Then on Sunday, he said, "Today, we are going to learn about Saturn." I downloaded Solar Walk off the Appstore but if anyone out there knows a better, more age appropriate interactive tool, I would be grateful.

Ben was out at rehearsals and conducting at Churchill for all of Sunday, coming home only after the kids were put to bed. Here we are: Lent term. It promises to be a challenging one. Ben's schedule is jam-packed and we don't have any visitors until, at the soonest, the end of March, which means that this cold, that is trying to get me down, needs to disappear....quickly.

It's Monday, though, which means a fresh start and a new week. A day filled with optimism, to-do lists and hopes for the week to come.

What beauty will fill your week?

Here, let me help you:

A beautiful birthday post

A Canadian Painter

My new favourite food blog

Canadian photographic inspiration

And last but not least:

 Gung Hay Fat Choy! Have a great Monday.

 Today I am pairing up with The Paper Momma for the Photo Challenge of the Week: "Feet"!

Leave a comment at the beep.

Hi There, You've reached One Beautiful Life. I am not here right now as I am over at A Dance For 5 doing a guest post on turning ____yrs old in just over a month. Why don't you head on over an check it out! Oh and leave a comment at the beep. BEEP!

Foodie Friday: The Plentiful Pantry

When we first arrived in Cambridge I looked online for a Pantry Checklist with no success. For some reason when you are faced with completely empty cupboards it is difficult to think straight about what exactly it is that you stock your pantry with. And on the flip, often when you have been living somewhere for a long time there are items that accumulate in the very back corners of the top shelf that get passed off onto a neighbour only when you move.

Living in the UK, we keep substantially less food in our cupboards and refridgerator. For some reason, they don't prepare for the apocalypse like some are in the habit of doing, stocking up on twinkies and canned sardines. Storage is at a premium, not to mention they use far less preservatives in their food than North America, so if you purchase a tub of yogurt, you have 3 days to eat it...unlike the good 2 weeks we have before the "best before" date in Canada.

But how do we keep the balance between being prepared and not getting sucked into the Costco mentality of "why would I only buy 500ml of Olive oil when I could buy 5 gallons?" I thought I would share with you, as a North American living in Europe how I go about grocery shopping for a family of four (don't be deceived by my childrens' ages...they know how to pack it away like the best of them.)

Thankfully, here grocery deliver services are plentiful and the reason being, most people cycle or walk and outside of work, don't want to spend their time always running to and from the store. That being said, grocery delivery is an extremely economical and practical solution anywhere you live. When we lived in  the Vancouver area we used Spud.ca. This company has grown leaps and bounds since we used it and now delivers to the Vancouver area, Calgary, Vancouver Island, Seattle and parts of California. I am sure however, if you live in an urban area, it shouldn't be hard to find a similar company. As a new mom living in a condo Spud was so incredibly convenient and the groceries came straight to my door: I did't have to be home, they were well packaged in reusable bins and I didn't emit unnecessary pollution driving to the store and back. 

Here in Cambridge, I order from Abel and Cole. They are VERY similar to Spud in that they pride themselves in organic and local products. Each week I receive a Fruit and Veg Box, organic milk, eggs, bread and whatever other goodies I have a hankering that week. The nice thing about the fruit and veg boxes is that they choose the seasonal vegetables that they pack in them, which means that I don't have to think about it but still receive a variety of goodness. (Spud.ca does the same). So how do I decide what else to get. Well, lets break it down:

Fruit and Veg

As I say, I get my box but I always like to have onions, garlic, carrots, celery or celeriac and potatoes on hand for last minute soups or stir fries.

 Lemons are essential as well, for drinks, baking and sauces.

Bananas, apples, oranges

Dairy

We aren't huge milk drinkers, in fact we used to only have rice milk as it was the cheapest organic substitute that I could buy. Now that we have easy access to reasonably priced organic milk, we get 4 litres a week and that is just enough. 

Cheese: my kids love it and it is good to have on hand for sandwiches.

Parmesan: We eat a lot of pasta in our household so parmesan is a must. 

Eggs: We get one dozen a week but should probably be getting one and half dozen. We like to eat them in the morning and they are essential to have around for baking, quiches and fried rice. :)

Butter: Salted for toast, unsalted for baking.

Yogurt: My kids love yogurt but we also have indian food a lot and like to have plain yogurt to accompany it.

Cream or Buttermilk: If you bake a lot these two items are called for a lot (at least in the good stuff), if you have one or the other you can always substitute.

Bakery

Whole wheat bread: We get three small loaves a week. I used to make my own bread but when I moved to the UK, for some reason, I wasn't allowed to bring my kitchen aid. Sad.  I send sandwiches with Jakob almost everyday (because that is what he wants) and I have an obsession with toast. I could honestly eat toast all. day. long. 

Snacks

Rice Cakes-These are easy, relatively clean, healthy and my kids love them

Granola Bars-Good for taking on the go.

Cereal: We don't generally eat cereal for breakfast but I always keep some corn puffs or cocoa bears on hand to take a long as time consuming snacks for places like church.

Popcorn: And I am not talking about the microwave stuff. Seriously, real popped pop corn tastes so much better and is SO much better for you. Don't know how to make it? Just ask.

Meat/Fish

In Canada, we could go to Costco, buy warehouse packs of meat and stick it in the deep freeze. That is not happening here, so while I love all sorts of meat and fish here is what I get on a regular basis.

A Whole Chicken: Chicken goes a long way in our house. I start by roasting it, then I take off the meat for stews or stir fries, etc. Then I boil the carcass to make stock (add some onion, herbs and maybe a veg or two) and take off all the excess meat to make soup. It's good for at least 3 if not 4 or 5 meals. I do this every other week.

Ground beef. Here we can get organic ground beef and I find it a little bit disturbing how different it tastes than the regular beef we get in North America. Just a thought. Anyway, if I buy a small package of ground beef I can split it between spaghetti and meat sauce and use the other half usually for something like beef/barley soup.

The possibilities are endless after that.

Tins

Canned Tomatos: I am not going to go into how bad they say canned tomatoes are for you...if you can, get organic. I need these for soups, indian food, and sauces.

Sauces

Spaghetti Sauce: I always have a small jar on hand. When I make spaghetti I will first sautée a bunch of veg (broccoli, zucchini, onion, garlic, grated carrot, peppers-whatever I have really) with our without beef and then add the sauce. It goes much further and tastes much better and is better for you. Spaghetti sauce can also be used for a base when making homemade pizza

Grains
Rice
Quinoa
Barley (for soup)
Whole Wheat Spaghetti...it won't take long until you can't even taste the difference.


Legumes
Lentils
Chickpeas
Beans (whatever combo suits in your favourite chilli)

Baking

Baking Soda

Baking Powder

White Flour

Whole Wheat Flour

Whole oats

Brown Sugar

White Sugar 

Icing Sugar

Yeast

Herbs

You know what you cook most but for us we are huge herb people, so if I were to list them all it would take up a lot of space.

But if you are going to have one pot of fresh herbs pick basil!

Condiments

Honey- I have started using honey instead of sugar way more

Peanut Butter

Jam

Ketchup

Mayonnaise 
Mustard: The best is whole grain. Good on sandwiches but also great on roasted potatoes and in dressings.

Oil and Vinegar: You know that shelf in your fridge that you have solely dedicated to salad dressings. We found out, its not necessary. Oil and vinegar are healthy and taste great.

Okay, well I am sure I have left something out...it's getting a little dry but I always get so excited when my grocery order comes that I thought it would be fun to write on. It was a good exercise anyway and I hope someone found it helpful.

Happy Cooking!

Winter's longing

This has been one of the dreariest day I have seen in Cambridge. The sky is grey, it has been raining since we woke before dawn, the house is quiet and there is a general heaviness in my spirit. Ben has been sick for the last couple days which has left me single parenting three children with no balance. Balance, yes another post on balance - something we are forever trying to achieve.
Mother. Wife. Friend. Housekeeper. Cook. Nurse (I fail dismally at this). Secretary.
Wanting to not settle into mediocrity but longing to be better, pursue excellence, make a difference. These are the heartaches we face and I realize that more than anything, I think we just want peace. It isn't about how many checkmarks we have in each category. It isn't about how many hours a week we devote to self, to family, to study or to prayer. It's not. God does not care if we set aside 15 minutes a day to pray but rather He wants our entire lives to be an act of prayer and of worship.
It's about peace.
It's about finding peace within ourselves and with God.
Then and only then will we feel like we have achieved balance.

 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. 

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything by prayer and supplication 

with thanksgiving

 let your requests be made known to God. 

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, 

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, 

whatever is honourable, 

whatever is just, 

whatever is pure, 

whatever is lovely, 

whatever is commendable, 

if there is any excellence, 

if there is anything worthy of praise, 

think about these things. 

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me -

 practice these things,

and the God of PEACE will be with you."

Philippians 4:4-9

Dear friends, I wish you peace this weekend.

Co-sleeping And The Never-Ending "Family Bed"

Ever since Jakob was an infant he has loved sleeping in our bed but because of all the fear mongering they do around SIDS, I rarely allowed him the luxury. In fact, he wasn't home two weeks before I had to move the bassinet out of our room and put him in the crib in his own bedroom as he was a noisy little sleeper and his grunts and groans would often keep me awake. But in the morning, as dawn was just breaking and he would wake to nurse, I would snuggle him in tight beside me in the bed and he would be in heaven's peace. Four years later, and between mommy and daddy is still his favourite place to sleep. The only problem is, now, he isn't an itty bitty baby but a big boy with pointy elbows, knees and little heels that dig into your back just when you are drifting off to sleep....again. And as much as I love the cuddles, I just don't sleep the same when he finds his way into our room in the middle of the night. But I just can't turn him away and here is why:
When I was little I always crawled into my mom's bed with her, and if she wasn't around I would crawl into my grandparents bed. For a time, when we lived with my grandparents, I remember often wanting to go to bed in their bed and then my poor grandfather would have to carry me to my own bed after I had fallen asleep. I moved in with my grandparents when I was in grade one and we lived there until I was in grade 6, so you do the math- I wasn't a weightless four year old. Why did I do that? Could it have been the insecurity I felt because of the divorce, or moving, or transition? Regardless, there is this nagging feeling inside of me that says it isn't natural sleep alone. At almost 30 years old, I don't like sleeping alone so why should I expect my four year old to? At the moment he does share a bedroom with his sister (who, by the way, has never had an attachment to mommy's bed) but there is something about the comfort of a parent or a spouse beside you while you sleep. I have heard many people say that they can't sleep if their spouse is away.
But this Momma is getting quite exhausted. Between a sick little girl up in the night and a little boy sharing the "family bed", lack of sleep is starting to wear on me like an ill-fitting pair of shoes: a little cramped and outdated. I am one of those people that NEED my sleep but am not sure if it's time to "lay down the law" and make Jakob stay in his own bed or ride it out a bit longer, and if I do, how to cope. Thoughts?

By the way, if you would like to read more on Co-sleeping click here.

The Problem With Being a Photographer in Cambridge

[Said somewhat tongue in cheek] ...
So lately, I have been in a bit of a funk with my photography. You see, while there is a need for "family values" photography in the UK, a need which I originally set out to fulfill in September, the bottom line is that Brits just don't like having their picture taken. So all I am left with are pictures like this...

I know. It's rough.
This morning all of Cambridge was kissed with frost, including Ben's bike seat. It was beautiful.

Clare College Bridge

Punts on an icy River Cam

Even after four months of living in Cambridge I still look like a tourist. But the great thing about NOT being a tourist is that you can get into many places for free...like King's College Chapel. I put my newly repaired 50mm f/1.4 USM to work to try and attempt to capture the beauty which can only be fully experienced by standing in the architectural masterpiece yourself, hearing the organ play, watching the sun streaming through the meticulously crafted stained glass windows.

Happy Tuesday!

30 Books To Read Before You Turn 30.

In just over a month it will be my birthday and for those who don't know me, I take birthdays VERY seriously! I think it is a beautiful thing to celebrate one more year in this one beautiful life. It is a time to give thanks for all the blessings that have been poured out in the past 12 months and look forward with hope into a new chapter with new stories.

But not only is it my birthday, it is my THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY! Can we get a woop! woop! And when you have a milestone birthday such as the big 3-0 you can help but do some serious thinking on the three decades that have flown by, and what you look forward to in the (hopefully) decades to come.

I want to share it all with you. 

I found this blog that totally resonates with me as it is lists, lists, lists and one of them just happens to be 30 Books Everyone Should Read Before Their Thirtieth Birthday. I took a read though, and let's just say, I came up short. So instead, here is my list of 30 books I have read and would recommend or would like to have read by my 30th birthday.

1. The Bible: Need I say more?

2. The Giver : As a young reader this was the book that taught me to think.

3. The Man in the Box: A Novel of Vietnam: another book that was read to me in elementary school that taught me to have compassion and be aware.

4. The Book of Negroes: An intimate picture of the slave trade in North America.

5. Long Walk to Freedom, : The best Autobiography I have ever read.

6. War and Peace : On my side table as I type. Why? Because so many people, whose opinions I value and respect say that I should.

7. Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot, one of my favourite poets.

8. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide: Because Awareness is the first step.

9. Lord of the Flies : So that when someone says, "Die Piggy Die!" You'll know what they are referring to.

10. The Great Gatsby: Because we are human.

11. Uncle Tom's Cabin: Before The Help


12. Nineteen Eighty-Four Perhaps, however this may hit a little too close to home?

13. Works of Love: We are not forgotten, or alone, but loved and meant to love.

14.Where the Red Fern Grows: This book, somehow, taught me to feel.

15. The Count of Monte Cristo: A-MAZING. Just a great all-round story.

16. The Cave: A beautiful Story with a surprise ending

17. The Practice of the Presence of God : Don't we all long for peace?

18. Pride and Prejudice: Because we just can't get enough of that Mr. Darcy.

19. Les Miserables: To this day a story that never fails to captivate my soul.

20. The Great War for Civilisation: The Conquest of the Middle East: In my effort to understand the conflict in the middle east, my husband strongly recommends this short little read (and by short, I mean slightly longer than War and Peace)

21. The Handmaid's Tale : I struggled to know which Margaret Atwood book to put as I love so many of them. Right up there would also be Oryx and Crake and Year of the Flood (they go together). Or Moral Disorder. Also very good.

22. The Better World Handbook: Small Changes That Make A Big Difference: Whether you subscribe to the suggestions or not, it is just good to know.

23. A Passage to India: I read this the first time I travelled Europe and it had a profound impact.

24. To Kill a Mockingbird: Do you see a theme here?

25. Unbowed: A Memoir : The incredibly inspiring memoire of the late Wangari Maathai, founder of the Green Belt Movement.

26. Mere Christianity: It's what it's all about.

27. Lolita: Scandalous! and yet an icon in the 20th century literature.

28. Things Fall Apart: Clashes of culture and yet each subject to the compulsions of the soul.

29. The Republic: What is justice?

30. Goodnight Moon : Because there is a child inside each one of us....and this child needs to go to bed.

I am sure that I have forgotten some  and omitted others but I'd say it is a fairly concise list. How about you? What are some of the most influential books you have read? What am I missing?