Friday, February 3, 2012

Guest Post From This Mama

I am SO delighted to have my dear friend Marissa from This Mama joining One Beautiful Life today. While, Marissa and I went to college together, we somehow missed each other and it was only in the past 3 years that we were able to form a friendship. She is an amazing woman that has so much to share in faith, in motherhood, in creativity and in life. She, like me has just undergone a huge transition moving with her husband and 3 adorable little girls across Canada, leaving behind family, friends and all things familiar. Thank you so much Marissa for sharing!



Making friends has never been easy for me. While I admire those that are good at carrying on a light conversation, I am quite awkward about it; perhaps because silence doesn’t bother me. I don’t generally particularly enjoy large groups as they overwhelm me and I am also a bit of a homebody. This makes making new friends a challenge. All that being said, I love having friends. I need friends. I don’t expect that you will ever hear me say that I only need my husband and my children because I find that while I do wish to spend the majority of my time with them, I thrive when I also have meaningful interaction with others.
Two years ago, we decided to spend one year in our old college town where there just happened to be several people that I was close with. I didn’t need to make friends because I could slip in a comfortable groove with those that I already had. We had similar interests, values, and even children close in age. I loved it! For one year, I was in my element. 



By the time we left, to my surprise, I had made so many new friends. In that year I became surrounded by beautiful women so different and yet like myself. Somehow, I had dropped the “on the outside of friendships” that I had come to accept as myself and replaced it with being one able to reach out and also reciprocate. And then we moved. 
Now I find myself starting all over again. Only this time I am again out of my comfort zone. I am once again the one fighting to get past myself and my insecurities to find my place. My husband says that I have to take the awkward steps if I want to have the comfortable ones. He probably is right. And so I go to the community events, I struggle through conversations where I am not sure what to say and would be okay with companionable silence, and I have learned a few things. 
1. Children are a wonderful ice-breaker and they are a bit of a buffer (should I admit that?).
2. I can push myself to go outside of my comfortable spot but I can do that within the realm of accepting my personality.
3. The easiest way to make friends is to join people in similar interests. 
4. I am in no hurry because for the first time since my early teens, I’m not here for a year or two. Friendships have time to mellow. 
5. Age is somewhat irrelevant, yes other kids are nice, but a kindred spirit knows no age. 
6. There is no specific measure of a meaningful friendship nor are all facets of a kindred spirit always fulfilled within one person.
7. Until I find my place here, I am thankful for modern modes of friendships such as blogs, emails, skype, and text messaging!


About Marissa:



As wife to Dan and mama to my three beautiful daughters, I spend most of my time learning to live well in the day to day. I write about things such as daily life, natural living, books, food and art (especially with young children) over at Confessions of a Young Mama. In my spare moments, I add handmade goodness to my little shop Chickadee Swing.


You can also find Chickadee Swing on Facebook.
Marissa and I are doing a blog swap today, so why don't you grab another cup of coffee and head over to This Mama to check out my post there. 

5 comments:

Kmarie said...

Loved this Marissa! Your tips are great:) I am the same way- socia chit chat is tougher...luckily I am in a community where friendships can mellow too.
"Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." - Dinah Craik

Marissa said...

That is a great quote Kmarie. Thanks for taking the time to share it.
I actually think that chit chat may be harder for a lot more people than I realize even if I often feel that I am the minority.

farmer said...

I felt as if you where describing me...
another great post :)

beth@redandhoney said...

I see two things in that photo: 1) Those were really fun nights, and 2) apparently I have terrible posture :)

Marissa said...

Farmer: I am looking forward to meeting you in person! And thank you.
Beth: It is the bench...totally the bench. And I miss those nights.

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