Friday, January 20, 2012

Winter's longing

This has been one of the dreariest day I have seen in Cambridge. The sky is grey, it has been raining since we woke before dawn, the house is quiet and there is a general heaviness in my spirit. Ben has been sick for the last couple days which has left me single parenting three children with no balance. Balance, yes another post on balance - something we are forever trying to achieve.
Mother. Wife. Friend. Housekeeper. Cook. Nurse (I fail dismally at this). Secretary.
Wanting to not settle into mediocrity but longing to be better, pursue excellence, make a difference. These are the heartaches we face and I realize that more than anything, I think we just want peace. It isn't about how many checkmarks we have in each category. It isn't about how many hours a week we devote to self, to family, to study or to prayer. It's not. God does not care if we set aside 15 minutes a day to pray but rather He wants our entire lives to be an act of prayer and of worship.
It's about peace.
It's about finding peace within ourselves and with God.
Then and only then will we feel like we have achieved balance.

 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. 
The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, 
but in everything by prayer and supplication 
with thanksgiving
 let your requests be made known to God. 
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, 
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, 
whatever is honourable, 
whatever is just, 
whatever is pure, 
whatever is lovely, 
whatever is commendable, 
if there is any excellence, 
if there is anything worthy of praise, 
think about these things. 
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me -
 practice these things,
and the God of PEACE will be with you."

Philippians 4:4-9

Dear friends, I wish you peace this weekend.

1 comment:

Kmarie said...

Sorry to hear about Ben and general dreariness- the beauty of that is when health and sun come back it will be all the brighter;) I suck at being the nurse too. That's one of my favorite verses and I like the general idea of what you are saying. However, I disagree with one thing- I'd say most of the time I like me and have a beautiful peaceful yet mysterious relationship with the Divine but in this life I won't ever achieve pure balance. ( thus my blog title.) there will be moments but even in a good place it's still life and we are still human - not perfect. We will still react, defend and wonder. Also for those who have syndromes, disabilities, cognitive differences ect a different sort of balance is maybe achieved but the balance if the norm is rare. Balance is actually experiencing paradox of extremes and bringing them together for a healthier outlook on life that promotes both firmness and empathy both justice and mercy. It's a constant awareness. I guess my point is it's different with everyone and balance isn't meant to be achieved here ( true balance is only after death)- it's meant to be a journey- a dance.
I do love your other thoughts on peace though. You beautifully summed it up with life is a prayer- every moment. That is beauty.
I hope the kids and you stay healthy;)

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