Living a Dream

Lately, I have allowed myself to give some thought to where I would like to be come Fall 2012. I know I am not supposed to be thinking about that yet. We are only 2 months in but they have been 2 months of discovering a different culture and a different way of living life with different priorities and different influences. I have mentioned some of these differences before such as the "less", the different consumer drive, etc. But there are other influences that also create sway. I think that most of us will admit that we are the product of the community that we grow up in and the people who speak into our lives. In Vancouver that could mean pressure to eat organic or do yoga. In Three Hills that could mean learning to knit or buy Quads (if that is what they are called). But here in Cambridge that means becoming a Doctor or a Lawyer or Professor, Researcher, Engineer....to name a few.

Not only that but because our lives have crossed that of so many others we have a broad range of people who speak into our lives simply by the lives they live themselves and they are all very different: some romantic, others professional/ "successful", some organic, some full of comedy. These lives are reflected in their place of residence, what they eat, how they express themselves and what they give their time to.  I think you understand what I mean. And while I recognize that the life we lead is unique to us and that we are individuals, if ever there was a chance to pursue the life that we had always dreamed of or try new things, now is the time. We are privileged to have a blank slate waiting for us at the end of this adventure. That being said, I can't say that between Ben and I, we have ever dreamed of "the perfect life". I did have a perfect life all planned out when I was about 21, you know: 2.5 children, house in the suburbs, so I started dating an accountant and found out really quick that that wasn't actually the life that I wanted and married a musician instead.

Going forward what kind of people do I want to be surrounded by? What scenery do I want to inspire me, what do I want to have accessible and what can I do without? I see the beauty in so many other's lives and like a dress I admire in a window shop I wonder what it would look like on? Too tight and restrictive? Not my style? Not practical and just waiting to have ketchup dumped down the front of it? Nice fit around the waist but not around the bust? Or a staple for a season?

We always watch job postings for Choral Conductors and they spread across the globe in many different venues and cultures. Some catch our interest and others we immediately glance over while some sound intriguing but the location is called into question, but how much does that matter?

If you were given a pair of scissors and the freedom to cut a school of here, and a church from there, cut out your friends from here and the scenery of there and you pasted all your favourite things into a nice little collage....what would it look like?

What new elements would you add? Higher education? (More) Children? A career? A hobby? A fish named Goldie?

I try to be open to where God is leading and what keeps me hopeful is the idea that there probably is some place out there that is perfect for my family but I have just never been there before or maybe I have but I will never know if I don't step out in faith.

And while, at the present, we live in Cambridge, and it is perfect for this chapter, we are still visitors. There is a uniqueness to Cambridge in that it is a University City. With over thirty thousand students coming and going each year the "townies" seem to not much bother with foreigners. Let's just say that all of my friends are American. I don't exactly help matters either in that, I  ALWAYS look like a tourist: camera in hand, strolling nonchalantly, looking up at the intricate architecture instead of forward at the oncoming cycle traffic. And this weekend was no exception.
One of my favourite parts of having visitors is showing them around and taking them to all of my favourite spots. Ben's godson came into town from Malta on Friday and Saturday we all went punting for the very first time. It was a beautiful day and just as I had hoped it would be.

Jon, Ben and Ella punting down the River Cam

It was a crisp, albeit sunny morning, we packed a lunch, bundled up and set sail. Punting is a great way to see many of the old colleges and it is even better in the Autumn when the river is not jammed packed nor are the punts. While our punt sat 12, it was just the 5 of us.

St. John's College

Jakob even had a go at driving the punt...

Jakob punting and our German punting friend, Christian

A Punt, however is not the best way to get pictures. The river is low and the banks block the scenery. The top of a bus, on the other hand, has quite a nice view. We said "good-bye" to Jon Monday morning and "hello" to Gramps and Omi Monday afternoon and Tuesday we were treated to an official tour of Cambridge.

The back of King College Chapel

The American War Memorial: aren't the fall colours stunning?!

The Mathematical Bridge

Cycle Parking is sometimes hard to find.

The kids just loved having Gramps and Omi here...I think that goes without saying and after two months of walking past the Disney store, Jakob was finally allowed to go in, where Gramps spoiled him rotten. Surprise!
But Gramps and Omi are only passing through on their way home after 3 weeks of travelling Europe and will be saying good bye today, all too soon.

It is yet ANOTHER gorgeous day in Cambridge so I should probably close of this rather random post. But I leave you with one last picture that makes my heart giddy....

59 days until Christmas.

The Cambridge Diaries: A rather long update

I was determined to sit down tonight (3 nights ago) and put together a genuine update on what we have been up to in the last little while (you know, like the one I was nagging Ben to do for the last three weeks). But then I started going through pictures and realized how long ago it actually was since I did one. I have good reason though, and that is I was trying to determine whether my beautiful, albeit, humdrum life deserved a moment of your time. Storytime just doesn't have the same ring as winning tickets to a Steve Reich Concert with the London Symphony Orchestra.

The jury is still out, but I do wonder what my readers and friends would like to know about life in Cambridge...if you have thoughts on this, I would love the feedback.

Since my last update I have posted a few pictures on Facebook but recognizing that some of you don't partake in such indulgences, you can always check out the full albums here.

Jakob at Rectory Farms, Milton

I think I have given up the Great Pumpkin Hunt. We made a trek out to a little town called Milton and a place called Rectory Farms. I thought they might have a pumpkin patch, but they didn't. The kids did however have a good time looking at the few animals that were residents and there was a quaint little cafe where we could warm up with some hot chocolate.

They do have pumpkins at the market however and so I embrace the challenge of turning this...

into this,

just in time for the first bake sale of the school year.

This past friday I attended my first University event: The Beginning of the Year Dinner at St. Edmund's college. We arrived as the sun was setting over the River Cam and proceeded to the Garden Room for drinks. We glanced at the seating chart only to find out that we would be at the head table, directly across from the Master of the college. The room was candle lit with antique silver complimenting the soft glow. We enjoyed butternut squash and ricotta raviolis with a sage butter sauce, pork tenderloin with wild mushrooms and a spinach cream sauce and a chocolate marquise for dessert. Dinner was followed by an assortment of cheeses and chutney and each course complimented by a wine selection or sherry. Absolutely no cell phones or photographs are allowed during dinner (I love and hate this) so the only photographic memory I have is this picture...Some people, when asked to operate a camera, should just say no.

Saturday morning, I took for myself before Ben headed off to London. If you missed it you can read about here.

The renown Savino's on Emmanuel Street

I think I always knew, but Cambridge is a confirmation of the reality that life as a musician's wife can be a lonely one if you let it, and your social life must happen with or without your husband. This past week Ben received notification of his College choir assignments. Each week he will sit in with a different college choir to observe and learn. This week he is at Jesus College which not only took him away Sunday morning but Monday-Thursday evenings in addition to his Churchill College commitments Sunday night and Friday evening. So while we savour our coffee times in the morning there are aspects of our life that are subsequently affected. Which leads me to church.

We have visited three churches and were quite torn about our decision to settle in one community. It is a priority to attend a church where there is a quality Sunday school program for Jakob and a good creche (nursery) for Ella but we also were eager to attend an Anglican church, rich in history and tradition, hopefully complete with a choir.
The first week we attended a smaller Anglican church on Mill Road, not too far from our house. Everyone was very welcoming and friendly. The children's program however, was chaotic and lacked the structure that Jakob feels comfortable in. I didn't get to hear too much of the sermon but from what I did hear thought it was a bit too introspective (I am not even going to try and unpack this). The worship was contemporary however tradition liturgy was used for the eucharist.

The second church we attended was the Great St. Mary's. This is the University church. It is in the centre of town and is the large cathedral you see in most of my pictures of the market. It is big, cavernous, the Music Director plays Bach preludes and there are multiple choirs. I enjoyed that it is in the centre of the city however there seemed to be few young families, with, instead, more grey hair and the children's program was...complicated. The first and second Sundays had children's programs, another Sunday had a children's service with eucharist in another building and another Sunday was a children oriented service which perhaps could have held the attention of a child older than 7 but no younger.

You can see our dilemma. Especially, from Ben's perspective which I respect and understand: in a city so rich with choral tradition, it would be nice to have a choir to lead worship on Sunday morning.
The third church we tried was somewhat by accident. We had intended to go to STAG: St. Andrew's the Great which is also downtown but we usually hear Chris Tomlin pumping out of the walls as opposed to Bach.
There was a problem with my bike however, and we got going later than anticipated. For fear that we would get there with 10 minutes remaining in the service we, instead decided to check out St. Matthew's, which started a half an hour later. St. Matt's as it is affectionately known was recommended to us by friends who work with Friends International and were our first point of contact when arriving in Cambridge.  As per usual, I took the kids to their programs, more specifically, Jakob while Ben took in the service. It was one of the best Sunday school classes I have ever been in...and I have been in a lot. The teacher started out with a visual analogy of what a massive flood would be like. The children were encouraged to build houses out of lego, then place them in a tray. She then used a watering can to rain on the houses until they all floated. The story of Noah followed using visual aids such as the Little Peoples Noah's Ark set and then the kids got up to play a game which included running around and acting like different animals. Snack, and then a craft which involved gluing and colouring. I was sold. It appealed to all learning styles, kept the children captivated and got the point across. I was blown away...and I will be the first to admit that very few children's programs impress me.
After the service we were invited over to the Worship Leader's house for lunch. Do I need to go any further? Being a warm sunny day we sat out on their patio enjoying BBQ while his daughters played with Ella and Jakob. There was a variety of people in attendance from various walks of life, all enjoying good food and uplifting conversation well into the late afternoon.
We felt it wrong to base our decision on the food from our meal or the mere fact that we were invited somewhere for lunch (although it could prove as an outward demonstration of the overall community) and still debated over the fact that the music at St. Matt's was purely contemporary.
This past week however, when Ben found out that many Sundays he would be at College Chapels it was clear what our decision would be based on. Not so much Ben, and more a place that I could feel comfortable going with the kids and the kids would feel comfortable to stay in their programs so I could enjoy the service. I think we have settled on St. Matthew's.

While the warm afternoons have been exchanged for crisp autumn mornings the weather here in Cambridge has been far better than I could have expected. Autumn is gradual here, unlike Alberta where the trees are stunning, rich with gold, bronze and amber all at once for no more than two weeks and then as quickly as it came, disappears. Many trees are still green, while the ground is covered with brown and the red is slowly disappearing of the vines that climb so many old buildings. The sun has come out, even for a short visit most days and there has been very little of the rain I thought would be similar to Vancouver.

Christ's Pieces

Parker's Piece

The views never get old. Coming around the corner from Jakob's school onto Parkers Pieces as the sun shines off the University Arms, or as you come into the market and the Great St. Mary's stands high above the tents and produce.

Caius College

The gargoyles atop Caius College

The only unfortunate part about Audrey's (my camera's name, in case you forgot that I name inanimate objects) experience in this photogenic town is that Ben, who has access to much more breathe taking spaces than I, still has yet to learn how to take a picture in low light. I am thinking about becoming his body guard or personal assistant for a day just I can follow him around and take pictures.

A gate a Clare's College and the inner courtyard of Caius College

The University of Cambridge Library and the most beastly of buildings.

But until then, I go unnoticed where I can (which is pretty hard with a stroller and giant camera) and try not to look too much like a tourist, which I always do, even in Three Hills.

Bikes lined up along Caius College

Craft Market in a neglected courtyard across from St. John's

And while some views are new and captivating there are others, which I have seen for some time and are still captivating.

The most beautiful little girl in the world

Cambridge, I think, has been very good for Ella and I and offered us concentrated time to grow our relationship even more....if that was possible. And now there is the new element of "homeschool therapy." With our referral to the Child Development Program (or whatever they call it here) still in process I have taken it upon myself to figure out how to keep the ball rolling with Ella's therapy. Why? Because, as I have said many times before. The more tools I can give here the better chance she has at fulfilling her potential, which I think is GREAT indeed. The world is not going to cater to her learning style and so I want to have her as kindergarten ready as I can by the time she is five. This is not like any other child, where learning happens naturally and quickly given auditory and visual aid but rather children with Down Syndrome are wired slightly differently and highly dependent on repetition and visual aids to help develop their verbal short term memory. Why is this significant? Well, our verbal short term memory is what helps us remember sounds, how to form sounds and put those sounds together to form words. The comprehension skills of a child with Down Syndrome is probably higher than you think but because so much is language based our kids fall behind and look significantly less intelligent.

Sooooooo.....

I figured since I am in the UK anyway I may as well check out some of the resources from Down Syndrome Education International. Their programs make sense and while I could possibly devise my own program like that of other Supermoms out there, it would cost me just as much to print the material and use for more energy that the fabulous See and Learn Program that they endorse.

We take a very small amount of time each morning during coffee time to do an activity. I am hopeful for what this might do for Ella's verbal skills however, like with so many things, approach it with fear that she won't like it, won't get it or won't understand it. But so far, she enjoys our little game and I have started at the beginning with First Word Pictures which could be a little redundant for my smarty pants.

On the bus, top floor

Speaking of smarty pants. Today, we had our first Parent/Teacher Conference. Jakob's teacher showed us some of the things that Jakob has been doing which was so nice to see. He has adjusted brilliantly and as I have said before, loves school. His progress is evident at home not only by his ability to write letters and numbers, but also by his lengthening attention span when it comes to sitting down to colour, paint, play play-doh or read. He is doing very well at reading the books that come home with him each night and is a keen learner.

Next week is half-term which means a week off of school and were Gramps and Omi not coming I might wonder how to tackle the heart break Jakob feels on Saturdays when he can't go to school. Ben's Godson, Jon is also coming this Friday for a couple of days, my cousin Ben is coming with his girlfriend around Halloween to carve pumpkins with the kids (among other things) and then it won't be long until Grandpa and Grammy come for a visit. We are excited to have visitors and can't wait to show people around and eat chocolate croissants.

The tracks: we have to cross the tracks everyday and everyday Jakob says, "Look, Mommy, TRAINS!" To which I reply, "TRAINS!"

There is still lots of time to get visits in though, so if you find yourself in the London area....or even if you don't drop us a line or simply pop by for tea.

Happy Wednesday!

Subjective Cambridge...

Recently, a few blogs that I follow have been posted somewhat out-of-the-ordinary posts that allow their readers a glimpse into their souls: a small picture of what makes them tick as they share tidbits of their lives that shaped who they are and to be honest I find the concept strangely appealing. I have always struggled with my blog and more specifically the purpose of it. It has evolved in different ways as I went from two blogs ( The Adventures of Us and Pursuit of Truth) to one (One Beautiful Life), which is quite random at times and never really the same…until recently. I feel that if I set a purpose for my blog and stuck with it than it would be more attractive to a set audience who would be faithful readers and attract more readers of that type. But then I remind myself that, at this juncture I am not Kelle Hampton nor out to make a profession out of blogging and no one has offered to pay me for doing it so whoever wants to read it will read it and if nobody reads it then at least I have it for myself: a record, a journal a place of my own in this massive cyber space. But having had this conversation a few times before, I will also add that I think at some level every blogger hopes that what they have to say might encourage and inspire another so comments and followers are always a nice pat on the back.

So where am I going with this? Well for this one post I am going to let my mind and fingers go free. I have escaped from the house without children and in any instance where I don't have to think about snacks and diapers my mind gets giddy and begins to think in ways I otherwise try and not make a habit out of in fear of pure frustration. 

But this morning….

This morning I sit at the renown Savino's in Cambridge city centre eating THE BEST chocolate croissant I have ever had and drinking a lovely latte which will, sooner than I know it, will need to be topped up. Thank you James for the tip.

Let's begin with Cambridge. How do I really feel about Cambridge? 

I love being back in a city. I lived in the Vancouver area for all but 6 years of my life (college and most recently in Three Hills) and I always loved it and NEVER got tired of being in the hustle and bustle. I am a patio dweller. As we speak my fingers are numb in the crisp autumn air and I am pretty sure I have grown a tumour the size of an orange as I breathe in second hand smoke but I love it. I love watching people come and go, I love watching vendors at the market prepare for their day, I love feeling as though I am part of it: a community, a system, a story. I also love being in such a rich hub for progress. As the Master of St. Edmunds noted in his speech last night at the Beginning of the year dinner, the students are part of something bigger than the University they are part of the college: an intersection of ideas where to quote George Bernard Shaw, "If I have an apple and you have an apple and we exchange apples, we will each still have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange ideas, we will each have two ideas."

There is lots to offer in this well programmed, well equipped city as it is, much to my surprise, one the most child-friendly places I have been. There is never a shortage of things to do for neither Ben, as a total music geek, nor me and the kids.

I do miss some of the excess of North America as mentioned in this post but part of me is enjoying the "less". I hope to do a post soon entitled Notable Cambridge in which I explain things which are different and I find notable and explain just what this "less" is. But I will give you an example. Children's books: if you go into a book store you will be hard pressed to find a hardcover book, unless of course it is a board book. Less.

I love watching Ben thrive here. I think his brain may explode not to mention his heart as he converses with people who speak his language and are passionate about the things that speak to the deepest parts of his soul. 

I love watching Jakob learn and grow here. The kid can practically read and write after just 4 weeks of school. And he loves it. He loves his class, his teachers, his new friends and even his uniform. I enjoy taking him to school and having time with Ella and then picking him up only to stroll over to the park or make a trip to the library. And I am looking forward to a week long half term break coming up at the end of the month.

I love that many days the thoughts that run through my head are "Why stay in town? What will I do….why go home, what will I do?" And so I just stay in town and wander the streets, watching people, taking pictures and spending time with Ella. I hope to be able to take in some university experiences like lectures, dinners and concerts but at this point in the year it is still new and I am okay just to watch Ben enjoy himself.

But here is the honest to goodness reality of my new found freedom: I feel as though this is the last year of my life. I almost expect the rapture to happen at the end of the year or perhaps, I just hope it will because in a year, reality will sink in. We will have to pay back what we have spent and get back down to "real life". Ben is optimistic that he will find a good job…I am somewhat more skeptical. I will have to take Jakob out of his fabulous school and probably go back to work. Which, then causes me to think about the age old question of "what do I want to be when I grow up" because it sure isn't an account manager at a financial institution. 

While, I possibly could think up what I see to be an ideal story, I know God probably has other plans and I fear what those are because right now, I just don't feel like being tested or refined and would instead, like something wonderful to happen without resistance. I want opportunity to prove fruitful and for a hobby to turn into a lucrative means to pursuing higher education for myself and Ben. One can only hope. 

Well, while I could go on....and on....and on, this has gotten very long and my cup is almost empty for the second time so I will sign off until the next time I grant myself intellectual freedom. Thanks for indulging me.

The Cambridge Diaries: Ben's First REAL Update

Greetings!

I hope this email finds you all very well and enjoying an autumn filled with crisp mornings and sunshine. It has been a little over a month since my last Cambridge update (which was really just a "we're leaving tomorrow" update) so there is much to tell. I'm sure that many of you have seen loads of pictures and comments regarding our life here on Facebook but I'd like to give a bit more background to what we've been up to the past month. Remember that you can check out another great perspective at Krista's blog. 

We made it! After a two hour delay at YVR, a mad dash through Heathrow to the coach line, a 2.5 hour ride through the English countryside, a kind new friend's lift and a cab ride down eclectic Mill Road, we arrived at the front doorstep of 37 Vinery Road, Cambridge. A plain and unassuming place in a row of attached houses built in the early 20th century for a multitude of rail workers. Inside we met our landlords and were given the tour. Not having seen it we were trusting that it would be suitable and it was. Newly renovated, 3 bedrooms, a decently sized kitchen and a long backyard where Jakob and Ella have been playing. Everything here is closer together, from the roads to the houses to the city structure and so we live being able to meet all neighbours very easily. A British couple to the right and a Spanish family to the left. The first month has been spent getting settled and exploring Cambridge. It's still surreal to walk and bike past the places we do, a blend of old and new, huge trees swaying over beautiful green spaces while centuries old buildings dot the skyline. One of those places that I think will be etched in my memory is cycling through Parker's Pieces (a park) on the way downtown and seeing the spire of Our Lady and the English Martyrs Church (OLEM for short) stretching skyward through the trees.  Of course you find your places: the best place to grab a pastry, a coffee, groceries, etc. Biking is the main mode of transport for many here and I found that it has been the best way to get to know Cambridge. You see many things when you aren't getting somewhere as fast as you can. Many mornings are spent, before class, having coffee with Krista and Ella in Market Square watching the world go by. It's been great to take Jakob to school most mornings and see him off though usually Mommy takes him in and now he doesn't even want that. Krista does most of the work as the kid trailer is attached to her bike. Her motivation, as we climb the bike bridge over the train tracks, is "coffee, coffee". These mornings have been a balm after many months crammed full of various events.

Cambridge is quite unique in that it operates on a collegiate system, a system that has evolved over 800 years (the other university that does this is regularly referred to around here as "the one that shall not be named") and is made up of 31 colleges within the university. In this system each new student is placed with a college in which they generally live, are taught (if an undergrad) and interact with many students from countless other disciplines. Graduate students are taught through their faculty. I'm beginning to discover that it is an extraordinary gift of learning and exchanging of ideas as I meet Masters and Doctoral students in nanotechnology, history, business, political science, classics, and many more. I believe, however, that I am the only one taking a music degree in the college I am in. St. Edmund's has over 60 countries represented within it's halls and to see all of them chatting away over dinner brings a smile to your face. Confusing? Well, it is a rule that only English be spoken in the dining hall along with no newspapers or mobiles. Formal dinners are by candlelight, a prayer is said in Latin before and after the meal, academic gowns are worn and you'll have an irate steward coming after you if you try to leave the hall before the meal is over (announced by the ringing of a gong). You must have the permission of the Master of St. Edmund's if you would like to leave for anything, including visiting the loo. It may seem a bit formal for North American taste but it's not only for tradition and respect, it actually does preserve and foster community, slowing the pace of a hectic world. St. Edmund's is actually one of the less formal colleges as their Master and Fellows eat in the same room as the students.

Early in the summer I was excited to receive notice of a conducting opportunity that went out to all the MMus students. Getting any conducting experience that I could while I'm here has and continues to be a high priority. I emailed in my interest and relevant experience right away and have gotten a bit of a job conducting the chapel choir at Churchill College, one of the newer Cambridge colleges (c.1960), every Sunday during term time. This will basically take the form of singing the hymns, an anthem and Psalm during the evening service which follows the Anglican tradition. This has also led to an opportunity to jointly conduct the Churchill College choir in a concert with Trinity College, Oxford in a performance of Vivaldi's Gloria. How does that work? Well, I will take the first 6 movements and Trinity's organ scholar will take the rest. Interpretational issues? Yeah, but it'll be fun. The chance to rehearse and know that this is exactly what you are studying for is something I'm very grateful for.

This city is absolutely bursting with musical events. It's hard to explain but you could very easily find yourself having to choose between 2 or 3 excellent concerts every day of the week. Symphonies, concertos, multiple evensongs every night, recitals, operas, plays, musicals, some free and all at very low costs to students. Seriously, if you want to experience England and you are remotely interested in choral music you have to come to Cambridge and spend a few days just going to chapel services. This community is unlike anything I've ever experienced or possibly ever will to be perfectly honest. The trick is weighing what will complement studies and broaden musical horizons for the future. As a conductor though, there are no shortage of rehearsals that you could sit in on and learn from extremely talented musicians. All part of the education.

Even before the term started there have been chances to get involved. I joined a couple of "Come and Sing" events, one at Great Saint Mary's Church and one at King's College Chapel: both an excellent way to observe talented conductors and how they interacted with choir and instrumentalists. As part of the connection to Churchill College I had the opportunity to join several singers at the funeral for Sir William Hawthorne, the second Master at Churchill and co-inventor of jet engine technology. A rare glance past a far-reaching accomplishment into the life of a very human man. As part of the MMus in Choral Studies program we will be observing and working with a variety of colleges, including some big name choirs at St. John's, King's, Trinity, Clare and Jesus College which I'm incredibly excited about. The other day Shao-wen (a fellow student from Singapore) and I took in an evensong service at King's College Chapel and then ran down St. John's Street to St. John's College Chapel for another one. Two very different chapels and sounds but both extremely vibrant. Some other extra-curricular education includes a trip to London this weekend to see the LSO put on a clinic and then performance of music by Steve Reich, with the man himself performing Clapping Music. I had entered a contest for tickets a while back and then completely forgot until they emailed me and told me I had won! Another event that I'm very much looking forward to is a BBC Orchestra Sibelius rehearsal that's been opened up to music grad students at their studios in London. 

The lectures have been extremely interesting, with our first core lecture beginning tomorrow with Dr. Jeremy Begbie, a Christian theologian/pianist whose writings I encountered at Trinity Western. Other lectures on a variety of topics are open for us to attend and I am taking a subsidized "German for reading" course with a lovely, blunt German woman who brought apples to her first class with us. On Tuesday our first conducting sessions began, a confirmation of why I love this art. We conducted a piece for each other in the beautiful Trinity College Chapel under the unblinking eyes of Francis Bacon, Isaac Newton, Alfred Tennyson and others.  Then the five of us sat in Stephen Layton's office and discussed each other's initial style and choice of gesture. He told us that he's not there to dictate the exact way to conduct and yet over 3 hours he brought our minds to bear on why we do this or that, on what would help convey the most with the least distraction. It's funny when you submit yourself to that all of your habits, the things you knew in the back of your mind needed to be polished, jump out under a gracious but glaring scrutiny! Though this man has conducted excellent musicians, made exquisite recordings with top composers and lives amongst such "musical" riches, yet he's very accessible, saying that he wished he'd had someone to hold him accountable early in his schooling. After he'd gotten started professionally a friend came up to him after a concert and handed him a 6 page, double-sided essay on all the things he'd done wrong!

Well that's quite a bit to chew on! If it all sounds a bit introverted I apologize! I just want to get it out before I forget anything and it's all very exciting. Tomorrow Krista and I will leave the kids with a babysitter from a local church and head off for a University formal beginning of year dinner. According to some students living in residence, they bring out the professionals for these meals and I look forward to sharing some of the traditional experiences with Krista.

I want to express thanks for all your support in prayers and other ways that are helping us on this journey. God has been watching over us and opening up doors to new friends and new experiences. We are thankful for that. We hope you are enjoying your fall weather and I take comfort in the news I just heard on CBC that Western Canada may have it's coldest winter on record....I should say I take comfort in the fact that I'm not there!

Best wishes,

Ben

If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.

Still livin' the dream, still patio dwelling, still eating far too many cookies.
I am on blogging strike until Ben posts an update.

Eating roast beef dinner on Sunday afternoon at a Pub.

Missing Autumn

Its funny, Autumn is upon us here in Cambridge and Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner and yet I have no plans, no turkey, no table centre…and I am….okay with it….sort of. Because while everyday is filled with a new sense of freedom, there is something missing. The pumpkins, the crafts, the pies are all reminders to be thankful, they are tools and traditions that help my children learn how to give thanks and enjoy the beauty of each season. But it goes deeper and it is hard to explain. For those that know me, know the creativity that runs through my blood and the joy it brings me to share that with my children and others. There is nothing like watching Jakob race through the pumpkin patch to find the perfect pumpkin or collecting leaves to take home and modge podge alongside buttons and ribbon and pictures. Cuddling up by the fire with hot chocolate and puzzles or spending a whole afternoon transforming a case of apples into apple pie, apple sauce, apple strudel….

My heart gets giddy at images of homemade soup, burlap and warmly decorated front doors and then I can hardly wait until, at the very least, mid-November before pulling out the Christmas tree.

But there is none of that here. 

To walk through the mall you would barely know it was Autumn or that Christmas is coming in 3 short months. They say it is all out too early…that one aisle in Tesco's that has advent calendars and Christmas Chocolates. There is little consumer evidence that there is something to be celebrated because it is just not a big deal here. I can't explain it.  And it isn't just absent from the stores, homes are void of signs of the seasons. Every day is as the day before. Even I, myself have let it slide. I don't know whether it is because Jakob is in school and it leaves little time for craft projects when we're home, or that there is no such thing as Michael's here or that we are pinching pennies and modge podge is not in the budget, or that I just don't care. I admit that I have traded in my 18 hour, jam-packed days for impromptu play-dates at the park, extended and frequent coffee breaks and lazy quiet evenings. I am enjoying have no pressure whatsoever and am afraid to commit to anything for fear it might ruin whatever "this" is that I have going on right now.

But I miss it.

And while I want to say that its okay to do without it for just. one. year. I wonder if I will ever get it back or if it could ever be a part of a life in England. 

I am thankful, and that's what it is about, right?

I am thankful for my children, my husband, everyone who is on our team, cheering us on and the RIDICULOUS opportunities that have already presented themselves to Ben, whose reputation and charisma is spreading like wildfire.

But what about Jakob and Ella? I want the storybooks of their lives to have orange and brown and gold. I want them to remember the wonderful, beautiful things that we did in Autumn.

What did we do?

Music and other kinds of Therapy

Do you ever find that there are certain things that you can boast about your child and then others that you cannot, even when prompted. I had a bit of an awkward experience today which forced me into the modesty corner when really I didn't think it was necessary. 

You see today, Ella had music therapy and it is no secret that Ella naturally loves music. Not only that but she is extremely uninhibited and outgoing. So when the therapist prompts her to bang on the drum, SHE BANGS ON THAT DRUM….AS HARD AS SHE CAN…WITH VIGOUR AND ENTHUSIASM!

So after our therapy session today the other mom's were discussing with the therapist their childrens' sudden shyness and unwillingness to participate in banging the drum, or shaking the shakers or tapping the tambourine. They naturally say things like, "Well, it is new and I am sure when they get more comfortable they will participate more." Very true and very likely. 

But then suddenly they look at me and say, "Ella must be already comfortable because she did music therapy in Canada." 

To which I reply, "Well her dad is a musician so she comes by it very honestly." 

Then suddenly walls go up and they get defensive and say, "Well, my child plays instruments at home just fine!"

And then I try to explain that it is natural and most, neh, all of the kids in her music therapy class in Canada were also very shy and afraid of some of the instruments but she has just never been like that.

GLARES….

What went wrong here? That's my queue to say good bye.

Maybe I should have just smiled and nodded. 

Noted for next time.

Photo by Ron Nickel

My name is Ella

Hi! My name is Ella and I love living in Cambridge, England.

Why?

Well, because I get my Momma all to myself everyday, all day, and we do a lot of fun things. Every day typically runs the same because that is how my Momma and I like it, with little variances and adventures thrown in here and there. Let me give you an example.

Monday.

Just like every other day, I am excited to see what the day will hold so I get up early. Somewhere between 5:30 and 6am. We take our time getting ready for the day then load up to take Jakob to school.

This is my ride. I am coming to tolerate it because now I have this comfy pillow and killer dude rag under my helmet.

Jakob's School: Sancton Wood. 

As much as I would like to get out and play we must move on and head downtown for a snack.
This is one of my favourite times of the day because Momma usually gets me a treat.

Sometimes Daddy comes with us which is always nice. We sit here almost every morning but the view never gets old.

After Momma finishes her coffee we browse the Market and sometimes get yummy stuff to eat.

Then it is off to the Library for Storytime! There are good story tellers and not-so-good story tellers but this week, it was the good story teller....and he brought food!

I play with my friends for a while and look at books while Momma chats with her friends. But soon I get very tired and it is time to go home for lunch. I nap on the way home, but that's it because I am a big girl and don't need naps anymore! (so says Ella)

After lunch it is playtime at home....because as I said, I am too big for naps.

I find lots of things to tear apart, or take out or destroy but then there are sometimes when I just like to play with my dolls.

Once the house is in what I deem to be an acceptable state of chaos we go to pick up Jakob.

I sit and wait patiently for him to come out. Then it is straight to the park to have a snack and play with friends.

As you can imagine, by the time we get home we are VERY tired and ready to eat supper and go to bed.

Until the next day, and we do it all over again....

Down Syndrome Awareness Month

Down Syndrome. A term that was so rarely brought up in Alberta and yet a vibrant underlying thread in our everyday lives. The hours I would spend in the car driving to and from Calgary for "Down Syndrome". The friends that Ella had because of "Down Syndrome". The friends I had because of Down Syndrome". The aids, the therapists, the appointments. I have almost begun to forget that Ella has Down Syndrome because, as I have mentioned it is not a part of our lives here in Cambridge.

But October is Down Syndrome Awareness month in the United States and there are things to be said. Why? Because Ella still does have Down Syndrome and regardless of whether I notice it or not, others do. And regardless of whether the gap between her and her peers remains the same or gets larger, there will be judgement. Judgement that could be hurtful and will be out of ignorance.

So we fight against ignorance. On behalf of our children, the stars of our lives and our heros, we educate, we answer questions, we share the victories.

And I think to myself if I had a stage in front of thousands of people, listening with unhindered attention and anticipation what would I say? What do I want the world to know about Down Syndrome?


It's not scary. When I had Ella, I was terrified. I was terrified of the unknown. I was terrified at the thought of my child seeing heaven before me. But it's okay. It's all okay and it is part of life: life with or without Down Syndrome. And that life is a blessing. And it is a life worth living: a life that can be full and rewarding. A life that will bring joy to so many people.

But too many parents don't know that and they find out that their child might have Down Syndrome and abort. They do not see the value in that life - they do not think it is a life worth living and/or their comfort is of greater value. A life worth living for who? For you, the parent? Who might have to work a little harder, who might not get to brag about their child being the first to walk, or talk or get into Harvard? Or the life who doesn't have the power to choose.

Friends, I was not given Ella because I am "special" (those who know me well, know how much I detest that word) and I am not her mom because I am "stronger". I am her mom because God chose to bless me with a child who just happened to have 47 chromosomes. And like any child entrusted to me, I care for her and do everything in my power to raise her in a way that pleases God.

What do I want you to know? Most of you who read my blog already know. Because you have read about Ella, you have seen our lives and how wonderful they are. So what do I want you to know?

It's up to you- In how you love your neighbour, respect your enemy and seek justice for the oppressed.
I am not going to blog about DS everyday this month because I feel our lives are a clear enough testimony of what life with DS looks like. But there are many out there who will. They will fight ignorance, raise awareness and one blog at a time change the world's view of Down Syndrome. Here are just a few:

The Perfect Lily

Our Little Chilli Tribe

Only One Mom

The Bates Motel

Words to Put Away: An extension of Pudge and Biggs

Carrington's Courage

Living Life with E's

I am sure there will be more so check my sidebar for posts from some amazing women with amazing stories.

 
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