Wordless Wednesday: The lost pictures

Pics from a couple weeks ago that took a little detour before settling into my computer....

My boys

How I am feeling these days...a little psychotic and just needing to cook...and eat.

Chicken Piccata with a lemon, white wine reduction

The wind begins to gently brushes my face;

Washing it with a cool light touch.

And then brushes my hair back like a mother stokes her child's hair.

The waves lap rhythmically. 

I have heard them so many times I cannot distinguish if they echo my heart 

or if it is my heart that follows suit.

My breathe follows.

In and out, in and out....

Breathe comes easy and the air is inviting;

it is moist, cool and salty.

It cleanses.

the grains of sand outnumber the stars

and he knows them all.

Each one different.

I know the ocean so well. There is a bond that will never fade and each time I return it is like an old friend: We pick up just where we left off. It has been my best friend. It is where my cares are washed out with the tide and inspiration comes in the morning. It is a constant companion. I long....

My heart is heavy. I had to laugh at my happy little header as I logged on today. INSPIRE.

I have felt nothing. White...everything is white.

I had such high hopes for this year. I dreamt of the places we would go and the stories we would tell. 

And yet, we are faced with a choice. Prudence or Experience.

I have never been prudent. It goes against all I stand for and yet for some reason I want to cling to the familiar...the comfortable....the "wise".

I am tormented day in and day out by the "right" decision. 

I feel like to choose one is to reject the other.

Today as I sorted through boxes and packed others, I found this. A musical snow globe that my dad had given me a long time ago...I saved it so that one day I could give it to my daughter. Well, today she got her hands on it all right. I won't get into it but I feel like it symbolized something much deeper than a broken snow globe and I cried. 

They say these times will build character. They say you will be better in the end. 

All I see right now is the worst version of myself and I hate it.

Waiting, Grandma, and Ice Cream Tea

When you are unable to speak you have so much more time to think. And while for some, this is extremely beneficial, for me, more often than not, it is detrimental. Those things which I push aside in the busyness come to the surface and have time to simmer and stew. And because I am a "fixer" I play scenarios over and over looking for the perfect solution. The problem comes when the solution or resolution, is out of your control. Here I am. My world being uprooted with no place to replant.

The thing is, resolution MUST COME. No change is no longer an option, so I wait.

Like I wait for so many other things. But I think I have decided that waiting is okay. While I may not enjoy it, waiting in and of itself is okay. It is what you do while you wait.

While I wait to bring a child home...
I support other who are able. Thanks again to all who donated to Bennett. We raised about $500. It's a ripple right? He doesn't have a family as of yet, but it will come....Here is the thing about Bennett, all the odds are against him. Not only is he older (most families want babies because of the obvious benefits of early intervention) but we also know nothing about him. I signed up late to be a Christmas warrior and little Bennett was the last little angel. He was the little guy that got picked last! But that is how God brought him to me and I am thankful.

While I wait for my little girl to walk....
I thank God for her exceptional health and extreme cuteness.

And while I wait for Spring to come....
I am grateful for colourful surprises that show up on my table...

And to make the wait a bit more bearable - Grandma is here! Perfect timing considering I have strep throat yet again and my energy is at zero. Not to mention the kiddos are both suffering nasty colds.
But nothing heals a little boy like a little time with Grandma and bakin' some cookies...

And nothing heals a mommy like delicious food.

That being said, I think I have found my photographic calling....FOOD!

Oh my boy, he is a mystery and I wonder how much is nurture and how much is nature. He served us all up tea after lunch. He is kind and compassionate and might this proud momma add, brilliant. He is also a boy who knows what he wants and today at the tea house he needed to tell Ms. Karyn that he wanted Ice Cream Tea.....do we know what this is? Nope, no idea, but Jakob did and because Karyn is always so wonderful, served it up until he thought it was just right!

What a boy!

And the Winners Are......

photo by Peter Cade

adapted from The Star Thrower
by Loren Eiseley
1907 - 1977

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"


Sometimes we feel that we have such minimal impact that it is rarely worth the effort. Well, I am here to tell you that God takes every dime, every read, and every prayer and multiplies it to make a supernatural, life-changing, life-saving impact that we can only dream of. Think of one tiny stone in one big ocean. The ripples from that one small rock grow and grow and grow until they span the sea - it's called the ripple effect. And so, I would like to send out a huge thank you to all of you who contributed prizes, donated, shared and blog. It means the world, and a family for Bennett. So without further ado,


THE WINNERS ARE....


$100 itunes gift card- Ranae
Bag from Three Acorns- Jamie
Crown by Chickadee Swing- Beth
Album from Jakob and Ella designs- SadieAnn
Zipper Pouch by Three Acorns -Stacy
Zipper Pouch by Three Acrons - Whimsys otherside


Thank you again so much. Please email me at kristaewert@hotmail.com with your information so that we can get your prizes to you pronto. :) 

Bigger things that come in pint-sized packaging...

I am in a blogging desert.

There are many contributing factors including sickness, discouragement and pure busyness. I have been moping around the house picking up snotty kleenex's, despising the prolonged winter and stressing about the fact that I am packing up my sold house with no idea of where I will unpack the material objects which do not define albeit contribute to this place I call "home". And as much as I would like to come on here and declare a day of misery I can't. Because I know that there are bigger issues than the classic cold or an address. There are bigger things that come in pint-sized packaging, humbly wrapped, that need our care and attention.

The Davis's: a family who after all the ransom was paid, the paper work assembled and the bed was made were denied the right to give Kirill a family. Please pray.

Little Carrington, who is fighting for her life after her little body had prepared to die from neglect.

And dear sweet Bennett, who you know what? has little of a story to be told and that my friends is the tragedy. I know so little about him and yet I know that God has not forgotten about him. Pray for him. Pray for his caregivers. Pray that his forever family will find him. GIVE AND SHARE....Bloggy friends, please share. Give even $5, let this little angel's lack of a story say a million words.

There is one day left in the giveaway. Donate and enter to win one six great prizes. See this post for details.

A Giveaway for World Down Syndrome Day!

For just over a year after Ella was born I contemplated my role as an advocate. I knew that I needed to be one but I wasn't really sure why. It is a logical response considering I have never felt that the lives of individuals with Down Syndrome were dispensable. I recognized then, as I do now, that they are an integral part of society and every bit as precious in the sight of God. After all, who of us is perfect? Who of us has no health issues to speak of and will live definitively to a ripe old age? So naturally, the idea that I would have to fight to convince others that these lives are valuable was inconceivable. But now, I have seen. I have read the articles encouraging the "eradication" of this "disease". I have heard stories of perfectly "moral" and "good" people who terminated the life of their precious unborn child. I have seen the neglect, the abuse and the complacency that is the reality for so many of these children.

I can't make this stuff up. And its not just in third world countries, its not just one or two institutions, its not just a few children who are suffering. There are hundreds. My last post about Carrington was case in point. A beautiful girl, who found her forever family. And it was only after this family had paid her ransom that they found out she was on death's door.

We, in North America have so much. We have access to the best health care, we have programs to help these kids fulfill their potential and be active participants in their community, we have big houses, cars to get us there and a growing sense of acceptance and inclusion.

Do you get it? Do you see? God will not see His children forgotten. These angels are waiting...waiting every moment....every day for their forever family. Take a minute. Think about what little Bennett is doing right now....waiting. Nothing else. He has nothing. Nothing.

There are many for whom it is just not the time. And that is okay. We wait patiently for the day when God says, "Okay, now. Now you can pursue your angel - your miracle child." And until then, we pray. Please pray for these children. 

The other thing we can do is give. Because there are families out there to  whom God has said, "NOW!" The only thing in their way is money. For a Canadian to adopt from Eastern Europe it is $50,000. This is where Reece's Rainbow comes in. They are an adoption ministry which provides support and grants to families adopting Reece's Rainbow angels. But it doesn't stop there. Connecting the Rainbow takes their team of volunteer professionals and goes to the countries of origin to educate parents on issues that often accompany Down Syndrome.

That being said, the bigger the grant, the better chance a child has of being adopted. So, lets team up and help sweet little Bennett. He's not far off from Carrington and he is one of RR's most AT RISK angels. Why you ask? Because Bennett will be 5 in the fall and his move to an institution is imminent. Institutions differ greatly from baby houses where Bennett is most likely living right now. Many institutions do not allow adoptions out. They seal the fate of these special children and pour nothing into their development, let alone their health. They are tied to beds, left in soggy diapers, are malnourished, neglected and wasting away. Health concerns go unnoticed and untreated. Their little bodies literally begin to shut down. 

So I am asking you...I am begging you to give....and thanks to some very awesome friends I am providing some incentive.

Grand Prize: a $100 itunes gift card.

Prize #2

A custom bag by Three Acorns

Prize #3

An adorable felt crown by Chickadee Swing

Prize # 4

A custom album by Jakob and Ella Designs

Prize #5 and #6

One of two zipper pouches by Three Acorns.

You have 3 ways to win....

1. Click on Bennett's button on the top right hand side to donate. Donate even just $5 and leave a comment to let me know.

2. Share this on facebook and leave another comment for your second entry

3. Blog about our little angel and leave yet another comment for one more entry.

** A donation must be made before you can earn a entry for sharing on facebook or your blog.

So you donate, that's one entry...donate and share on facebook, that's two entries. Donate and blog that's two entries. Donate, share and blog- THREE ENTRIES!

The contest will close on Friday, March 25th at 9:00pm

FIVE BUCKS. That's all I'm asking. Will you be a part of rocking Bennett's world?

A very Happy World Down Syndrome Day- Let's celebrate being!

**POST-EDIT: Cash or cheque can be given to me in person and I will send it in like I did at Christmas or it can be mailed to
Reece's Rainbow
PO Box 4024
Gaithersburg, MD 20885

A Bruised Reed... Urgent Prayer Request

Written by Poppies Blooming....

Carrington Burman

I don't even know where to begin for this post. It breaks my heart to say this but the photo below may upset you. Also, if you have young children you may prefer to not show them this post.
I've shared so much of my heart for orphans on this blog. I've tried to raise awareness, whatever that means, and I've asked you who read my blog countless times to help the orphans by praying, donating, or adopting.
I've shared about the conditions the little ones exist in in countries such as Eastern Europe... banging on and on about their need and asking, begging for your help.

A bruised reed He will not break,


And smoking flax He will not quench;


He will bring forth justice for truth. Isaiah 42v3


I have used this Scripture on my blog several times, even made mention of it in my previous post regarding Kirill. But why is this significant? Because it shows that God placed value on those who were weak... He did not discard someone just because those around them may not place any value on them.
In Eastern Europe, children with special needs (the weak or imperfect) are cast off... put into orphanages to be forgotten, then sent to institutions to warehouse them until their death. They simply do not value the lives of children with special needs.

This is where Reece's Rainbow steps in. To find families for these precious children. All of those who advocate post on our blogs hoping that a family will come forward for these beautiful kids. We simply do not want to see the same children on the Angel Tree year after year. We want them to be home, in a family, learning what love is and what it can do.

One of these children, a little girl now named Carrington, was in great need of a family. She was adopted by the Burman family and when her new Mum got her to the flat they were staying in whilst in Eastern Europe, she was shocked by what she saw.

You may wonder how she didn't know this already. Well, it is quite common for the carers to bundle the children up in big heavy coats even just for a meeting in an indoor room at the orphanage. I've said before but it is worth mentioning again, that it may very well be to keep the new family from seeing how small they are.

In Carrington's case, it couldn't have been more true. As the following photo shows, she was literally dying. She is 3 years old and weighs 11 lbs.

When her new Mum saw her condition she contacted her paediatrician in the US and they arranged for her to be taken immediately to the emergency room in hospital upon landing in the US. That was Thursday night. As of now, Carrington is in a fight for her life. Her body was already shutting down, preparing to die. She hasn't kept anything down, even that which has been administered by tube.

Thus says God the LORD,

Who created the heavens and stretched them out,

Who spread forth the earth and that which comes from it,

Who gives breath to the people on it,

And spirit to those who walk on it: Isaiah 42v5

I am praying these Scriptures over little Carrington this night. Praying that this God who created the Heavens and who gives breath to people on earth will breathe life into this little angel. This little one that is certainly not the only one dying... but I'm clinging to the hope that the same God who breathed life into Adam will again breath life into little Carrington.

When you see the condition she was in, you may very well want to block the image from your mind and just get on with your day hoping to forget. I hope you never forget and that it will stir you to pray for the children in these countries that are discarded. I hope that you will fall to your knees in tears, as several of the grown men in hospital when they saw Carrington's condition, and plead for them in prayer. I hope it motivates you to give to a family's adoption if you hear about one or a child's grant so they are more likely to have a family come forward for them. I hope that you will never be silent about these children and that one day we will no longer need to advocate for them because they are all loved and in their families.

But for right now, I want you to pray. I want you to pray for Carrington... pray that God will breathe life into her body and that her internal organs will remember what they were created for and begin to function. I also want you to pray for the rest of the family who are obviously beside themselves with worry for their new little one. Just pray... please.

This is the little life on who's behalf we are pleading...




Thank you so much for your prayers.
**POST EDIT- updates on little Carrington's progress can be found here

Caro Brasil, eu te amo ... ou pelo menos sua comida

A Photographic Documentary of the weekend.....

Sunday afternoon, the whole family came over for some very special celebrations...BRAZILIAN STYLE. Ben is actually Brazilian and spent the first seven years of his life there. The love of excess sodium never left his system.  Rice. Beans. Endless BBQ'd meats. Lots of vinegar.  Brigadeiros.
Ben's sister also made some beautiful desserts and since food is my love language...well let's just say I am feeling extremely full of both love and sweets.

Guarana is a Brazilian soda and a special treat.

All 12 grandchildren....

Really. Good. Weekend.

Speechless...

Today, this article was brought to my attention. I am appalled. Never before have I read something so blatantly discriminatory or unapologetic of their position towards individuals with Down Syndrome.

"He said the cheaper and quicker method of blood sampling rather than collecting fluid from the womb will encourage more couples to take the test and therefore slowly eradicate the disease."

a.) DS is not a disease....it's not contagious, it is not debilitating in and of itself.
b.) Why is there a "need" to "eradicate" it.

I wish I had the eloquence and influence to tell these people where to take their little test. It's complete crap! At the end of the article they give the statistics of the the trials saying,

"In the trial, Patsalis' team correctly diagnosed 14 cases where there were extra copies of chromosome 21, and 26 normal cases."

14 out of WHAT? The paragraph before they mention a larger scale study using 1000 women. So is it 14 out of 1000?!

Who gets off writing stuff like this?
So apparently I am not so speechless after all...even after censorship.

What's for dinner?

I hate thinking about what to make for dinner. I actually enjoy the cooking part, but the whole coming up with something is debilitating....seriously. And like so many of you, I am a mom on the go and don't have time to think about what to make let alone, drive or walk to the store with two tired children. And if you know my son, or live in my town you have probably seen my son in the local IGA and know what a challenge grocery shopping can be. This is one area of life for which I am thankful I live in a small town where everybody knows your name....and your kids' name and aren't afraid of stopping him from running out into the parking lot. The moment we get through the door Jakob grabs one of the pint sized carts, b-lines it to the free cookie counter and then the meat department where he, quick as lightening grabs a handful of hot dogs and a package of bacon (his daddy has him trained well).
And I can't just throw anything on the table. We are eaters! We all love food and are 3 square meals a day kind of people. Lunch is usually lighter which means by dinner I need something with umph! No cereal or salad for this gal - that being said bacon and eggs or pancakes are always good options.
So today, I decided to make a list of meals. This way, at the beginning of the week I can pick 5, shop accordingly and don't have to think about it. They are all tried and true, quick and accessible because as much as I do love IGA for some reason they just don't stock fennel....and some other things that are apparently "everyday" according to the Barefoot Contessa. I thought some of you mind find this helpful as well so here it is....

If you want a recipe, don't hesitate to ask and I would LOVE, seriously LOVE to know what meals work for your busy family.

Rice and Black Beans (my husband is Brazilian and this is a staple food)
Lemon Rosemary Chicken (low fat and quick-best served with roasted potatoes and steamed veggies)
Salmon with lemon and dill (good for omega 3 fatty acid intake and also low fat - served well with brown rice and steamed veggies )
Cajun Chicken Sandwiches
Homemade Pizza (it takes an hour for the dough to rise but it is quick and can be made whole wheat. I often will use pasta sauce because its always stocked and whatever veggies are in the fridge. That being said, garlic chicken, red pepper, red onion, zucchini and feta is our favorite)
Asian Pork Tenderloin (served with apple sauce)
Raviolis (we buy these spinach and ricotta raviolis at Costco- they are great in sauteed zucchini, peppers and onions, but Ben's favorite is when coat them in extra Parmesan and deep fry them.)
Spaghetti (good old faithful. I saute some veggies and sometimes some ground turkey to beef up regular pasta sauce and use either rice pasta or whole wheat spaghetti)
Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo (horrible for you but delightfully delicious when you need some comfort food)
Tandoori Chicken (new to the rotation)
Soy Sauce Chicken (this is always a hit and seriously, SO EASY)
Potato Bacon Cheddar Soup (again, not that healthy but very hearty)
Greek Pasta (stole this one from a restaurant I used to work at: Spinach, tomatoes, red onion, garlic and feta. Delicious!)
Crock Pot Roast (for days I know I won't have time to make anything. I through in some onions and veggies and we're good to go.)
Season Baked Chicken Thighs
Beef Stew
Tacos (Tacos are actually quite rare in our house as they aren't baby friendly, but they are a nice treat)
Stir Fry
Lentil Veggie Soup (this is a staple food in our house but usually for lunch)
Beef Barley Soup (Good for a crowd and always a hit)
Cheese Quasadillas (I stuff whatever I have in em- chicken, veggies, etc)
Quiche (again stick whatever I have in it)
Breakfast for Supper (My ultimate fall-back: Bacon and eggs, sausage, pancakes or waffles - not all together but those are just some of the possibilities.)

This was a new dish I tried the other night. It hasn't proven itself to get on the regular rotation yet but it was pretty good, quick and healthy. The recipe can be found here

Keep in mind this list is seasonal...when I can get to my BBQ it's a whole other world. But really, I would love to hear what you do.

Surviving, Cleansing and Growing

It has become very apparent that I live, not in Alberta, Canada but in Narnia: the land of "always winter, never Christmas." It's enough to drive one to insanity. The sun is no encouragement and rather adds insult to injury because you can't actually venture outside without your nose hairs and eyelashes freezing. To add to the discomfort that the weather causes I am officially half way through my little cleanse. Day 6.
Needless to say, this week I shut down. I rejected all "busyness" and went into survival mode. We resorted to what we know best....baking (even though I can't eat it). I can live vicariously through the smells, and smiles on the faces of those who devour the goods. Baking is one of Jakob's favourite things to do, and he is actually getting pretty good at helping instead of "helping".

In reality, the cleanse hasn't been too bad. I do the Wild Rose Detox. I have done it a few times now and quite like it because you can actually eat a wide variety of food. I am one of those people that needs to eat so the whole lemon juice/cayenne pepper/maple syrup thing just doesn't work for me. And I always feel better after. That being said my husband hates it. I like to think that I eat relatively healthy anyway so the effects are almost not noticeable for myself, whereas it ends up cleansing a little too aggressively for someone like my hubby who enjoys his Pepsi and Doritos from time to time. 

For the first few days however it does drain my energy. So I tried my best to do only the minimum and just enjoy being home, playing with kids, baking and taking care of myself. I would pull out the iron and then do yoga (the ironing has yet to be done.)

Which brings me to yoga....oh how I missed you. I practiced regularly for 5 years before we moved to this little rural town, at which time, my practice came to a screeching halt. As part of my cleanse, I committed to doing yoga at least every other day. It has been so uplifting and invigorating.  I have a theory about the languages our bodies speak. For some it is through music, for some it is through writing, and as I have mentioned before, for me it is movement. Yoga became the accessible alternative after highschool when dancing was my life. All this to say, its been good.
*To get back in the groove I used a YouTube video to give my practice a jump start. I found one from Yoga Yak that was perfect for where I am at. Check it out.*

I am hoping the cleanse only adds to good health that my family has been experiencing. We are almost a month, sickness free (this is AMAZING). I am so thankful! It has been so wonderful to see my kids thrive and develop at full steam. Ella's progress is consistent adding new skills each day. For example, this morning when asking for more banana, she signed "more" (which she has done for a while) but she also said "baba". This is huge because she often totally rejects using any sound other than "da" or "tse". She has started embracing her walker and is working on standing balance.

Jakob is also continuing to learn at a rapid rate and amazes me with his social maturity, ability to memorize and his progress with shapes, relativity and grammar.

I Bet you didn't know flour is the perfect substance to drive cars in.


We savour these times in this One Beautiful Life.




Happy Weekend!

Wordless Wednesday

Apparently, it was a little traumatic for him to give up his soo-soo (long ago). In other news....I hate Alberta winters and am about to go insane.

You know what I am talking about...the r-word....

I say it. We all say it. And we say it without thinking about it. Our Geneticist said it when talking about what life would be like with Ella. But it hurts and it needs to stop.

It is used as a synonym for "stupid" or "dumb" refers to people with disabilities. It reinforces stereotypes. It devalues. It humiliates.
So let's end the use of the r-word: you and me.
I pledge to show respect...will you?