Monday, June 6, 2011

Small Space Living in Big Green Pastures...

Today was one of those days when I felt inadequate. Especially, in being a mother.
As per any normal Monday, Ella had Pool Physio in Calgary. We always love it: it's a good way for me to get one-on-one time with her and fun even though it is "therapy". We picked up some supplies for her birthday party on Wednesday and then it was home. And as per any normal Monday, she fell asleep a third into our hour and half drive. That means her nap was about one hour long as opposed to the typical 2 hours she gets when we our day is not disturbed.
She generally wakes up when taken out of the car but I figured I would give it a fighting chance and put her in her bed. I also put Jakob to Bed....Not to much later, I peeked in to find this: ( I am trying to embed this from facebook since my vimeo is not working at the moment. My apologies if it doesn't work)

Small space living is hard. I remember when Ben and I first got married we had a teeny tiny 500 sq ft apartment and it was enough. When you have kids, it is a whole other ball game.
When the cars spill out, they don't just spill out on the living room floor, they spill out onto the kitchen floor, and the dining room floor and the office floor and....
It doesn't help that Ella will officially be a toddler on Wednesday and she has earned the name DESTRUCTOR. In 5 minutes flat (or as long as it takes to use the loo) she can have all the movies off the movie shelf, the shoes off the shoe rack, the pots and pans all over the kitchen floor, the recycling, sorted (NOT), the books a sprawled throughout and any clothes that were once nicely pressed (okay, I don't really press all my clothes) and folded, on the floor wrinkled and dirty. It's amazing!

She is learning her right to independence more and more everyday. She insists on feeding herself, drinking herself, dressing herself, reading to herself and climbing every set of stairs in sight.
I thank the Lord everyday for her health and determined spirit...but I am just saying this momma gets a little tired.

And tired I have been...I probably should be in bed right now.
I felt today, as I have for the past week or so that I am just not going to make it through the day, let alone get any work done. And you can spare the "don't worry, the laundry can wait" comments, because I am not talking about laundry. I have a job. There are hours I must put in every week and if there is nothing but a sermon on Sunday, I am going to hear about it. This coming Sunday will be Ben and my last Sunday leading music at our church. I guess its a big deal, and yet its not, because we will move on and inevitably lead worship again, somewhere else. I had hoped to put together an amazing Pentecost Sunday today and lets just say it didn't happen.
Mothering: strike.
Housekeeping: strike.
Music Director: strike.

Ball game was cancelled so I can't even take it out on the field. Alas.

**Awkward transition**

On the bright side, up until today, the weather has been lovely.

There is one last item I would like to throw out into cyber space tonight. Lately, I have been trying to decide whether I would ever want to take my photography a step further. It has been, up to this point for my own personal, perfectionist satisfaction. I take pictures, therefore I want my pictures to be the best that they can be. This, in essence was what prompted me to purchase Audrey. So now that I can articulate that I enjoy it thoroughly and (if you don't mind me saying so) am not too bad at it, do I do "something" with it? The problem is that I have no desire to become a portrait photographer or wedding photographer, which leaves few viable options. For now, I figure I just need to keep practicing. Getting out there, taking time to see the world and all its little details.
Recently I found this site. She always has something on the go but Sundays it is Scavenger Hunt Sunday. She gives a list of items and you take pictures interpreting the items. For example: beads

I don't think I can tackle all of the items, but its a start.
Well that's it for me tonight, I hope you all had a happy Monday!


just sayin' said...

that video makes me cry! i see no "strikes" in this blog! :)

Kmarie said...

Can't see the video but it sounds cute. As for the photos- portrait does not suit. You should do more- you do have amazing natural talent that would suit books/ nature/travel ect and not standard portrait stuff.
I don't know...Sometimes perfection in parenting/ music leadership/ and housekeeping need setbacks just to gain some perspective or other uses of time ( even if it means beating self up to then go out and find some inspiration:) I still think that book would be great for you eventually.
As for all this. You are capable so much that it is refreshing and creatively inspiring when you have humane moments of 'not so much.' Makes me feel better about my attempt at a birthday dinner anyway:)...I am saying all this lightly.
I liked this post but I am sorry you are having a tough day. I get it. I am really tough on myself on those days too...but oh wait. I have them everyday:)
I have to admit I don't miss the chaos of the toddler years and I do not envy you that stage. It is EXHAUSTING. Esp. with more than one at home.
Hope tomorrow is fresh and fun.

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