five days in this one beautiful life-day four

One more day to go after this post. I must say that although time consuming and not something I could continue doing for more than these five beautiful days, this exercise has been beneficial, along with therapeutic.

Last night as I logged off, I have to admit that I was feeling pretty discouraged. I declared that I was on a planning strike. I love making beautiful things happen, so tend to hold to the belief that I must take the bull by the horns and just make it happen. But there is a balance to be achieved, as there is in all things, in order for them to be truly beautiful.

This morning I felt some measure of balance return and it really was beautiful or at least invigorating. For the first time in a long time I actually took time to work out. When I got home I found out that apparently there was a scheduled power outage. At least the coffee was made.
Thursday mornings are swimming lessons. After much humming and haaaing I decided to put Ella in as well as Jakob. Our physiotherapist is always saying that the more swimming the better and besides, a lot of our friends were in the class.
So my FABULOUS mother-in-law offered to come and swim with Jakob while I did lessons with Ella. She was an all-star. No really, she was, but she done a lot of it before in physio.
Then it was Jakob's turn. His class is unparented...he did....alright. It's all new and will take getting used to. But his teacher is a pro and so good with the kids.

Ella had such a good time that she didn't even make it to the end of the block and was already asleep.

This afternoon was dedicated to getting ready for our little weekend getaway to Kananaskis and cleaning up the yard. I felt only slightly bad that Ella is the reason that we can take advantage of such a place- it is designed specifically for those with disabilities in that you can go into Kananaskis country in the middle of God's glorious GREEN creation for dirt cheap! Tomorrow's post won't happen until Monday and will feature some of that beauty. Here are some pictures of the afternoon and one of what I like to call Everydayness- Jakob at the dinner table, talking on the phone to Grandma and Papa, helmet on and pants off ( I kept this aspect out of the picture for obvious reasons).

Can you articulate what it is about a pile of leaves that is so enticing? Just curious. Tonight I end with fresh chocolate chip cookies and my ironing waiting for me...probably not at the same time. Oh and Miles, oh Miles how I love you....

five days in this one beautiful life-day three

Last night I stayed up past my bedtime to do this. I was going to order off of Shutterfly and then thought to myself, woah woah woah I have a perfectly good program on my computer and a printer across the alley. Why not save myself the shipping?

Now onto today-Another beautiful woman that I am so thankful for is Joanna. Joanna takes care of Jakob on Wednesdays when Ella and I go to PREP. We were out the door early again and this morning was just as beautiful as Monday....with the exception of a cranky girl in the back seat, who although was cranky, was still beautiful. PREP is a program designed specifically for children with Down Syndrome. They focus on language skills, socialization, physical activity and creativity. Ella loves it and although I talk about it a lot, now I can show you...

Consider this: there is another girl in the class named Ella. She is almost three and is the most vibrant, active one in the bunch. She will come and help herself to your lap, signs and is starting to speak and you can tell she loves being at PREP. Her road has not been easy though. When she was 8 months old she spent THREE MONTHS in ICU because there were no beds available and she needed not only heart surgery but had a herniated diaphragm as well that needed operating on. These parents know what it means to suffer the burden of Down Syndrome and all that it entails. Our Ella is the minority- we are blessed beyond measure. National Down Syndrome awareness week is in November and I know I want to do something, but what? Any ideas?
I am going to be honest with you, today it was harder to find beauty. Errands didn't work out (Applying for FSCD) leaving me feeling like a drop in the public services bucket, Jakob fell off the helicopter death trap at the park and what was supposed to be a wonderful music filled thanksgiving may be Ben at the piano and me singing.
But I believe that is why God gave us people in our lives to lift us up when we are down. We are thankful for friends. Friends to eat rice and beans with, friends for our children and friends to laugh with. Friends to go with to William Watson Lodge, Canmore or a hockey game.

fives days in this one beautiful life-day two

When Jakob goes for quiet time, because he no longer naps it seems, I tell him that he can come out of his room at 3:00. So this morning, at 6:30, he told me that I could get up because of course, it was three o'clock. That's right, there is a three, it must be time to get up.
Same old routine - milk, banana, bottle, coffee. But this time, I woke up Ben and spent some time with my coffee and bible with just Ella (beggars can't be choosers). I like the whole 9-5 thing. It means that we can have breakfast together, take in a little John Stott and then get on with our day and today, that meant preschool. I pack Jakob's snack up and today he chose to take his Thomas Suitcase. After our first sign of reluctance towards preschool, Jakob finally surrendered to the plethora of cars, trucks and activity and I went right next door to the church, where Tuesday morning means staff meeting. I actually like meetings- I really do, I think I am one of the only people I know that does but regardless it is a good time to share what is going on with all of the ministries at the Tab. When staff meeting ends early enough or on days like today when we took a short recess, I pop into Mom's time out. Today there was even a seat for me, as opposed to last week. This, in essence is beautiful - a place for mother's to rest and rejuvenate. I am so thankful for this ministry and the women who take care of our precious children.

Daddy took the kids home for lunch and I went to a Ministerial meeting where Jason Koleba talked about how we get the church out the door and start living more missional lives, not just speaking the gospel but demonstrating it. Something to chew on as it is a great challenge...especially in this town where the lines are drawn clear.
When I got home the kids were both sleeping. Oh, do I need to repeat that. THE KIDS WERE BOTH SLEEPING! Now that, is beautiful. Work continued as is the trend on Tuesdays but not before I stopped in at the Fruit Truck. I mused with another patron that the day is drawing near when we will be back to apples, oranges and bananas but for at least one more week....we have the fruit truck.

I said yesterday that soon the trees would be bare and today I could see it coming. The afternoon was fit for a cup of tea and mellow music. By dinner time however, the sun was back.

Ben had to teach lessons so the kids and I went out and sought beauty.

During our walk Jakob started to talk about an eagle in the sky. There wasn't one, but I think he picked it up from a story he had read. But it caused me to look straight up - it's funny the perspectives that you miss when you are more than three feet tall.

I was reminded of simple pleasures, and while I make a mental list I thought I would include a few from yesterday and today.

1. The warmed flannel sheet they wrap you in when you get out of the pool at ACH.

2. Free itunes downloads at Starbucks: yesterday it was Zac Brown Band Keep Me In Mind

3. Free cookies at IGA.

Tonight I post early as I have a date with a glass of wine and my little indulgence of the week- the latest issue of House and Home and the new Ikea catalogue.

Day two - no picnics or pedicures but beautiful nonetheless.

five days in this one beautiful life....

My camera and I have been having a fight lately. I have been cheating on it in my dreams. Dreams of Canon Rebels or better yet a 60D. But I am going to be honest with you - I wouldn't even know how to fully use one of those cameras and my little Sony cybershot has served me well for many years. I feel that I have taken just as good of photos as some "professional" photographers out there with much fancier equipment than I could dream of. So in an effort to make amends with my little camera I am going to do a 5 day photographic documentary of my ONE BEAUTIFUL LIFE.

Because here is the other thing- life is beautiful - no matter where you find yourself, no matter what season, what chapter or what stage. I follow a beautiful blog that is all about enjoying the small things but when you don't have time to do the small things like she does and instead find yourself more of a chauffeur than a mom, it is easy to miss the beauty. So here we go....day one.

The day begins just after six and oh, how I wish I had a picture of the face that greets me when I open my eyes. "You want to get up now, mommy?"

"Here, let me help you," as the covers roll back.

I settle Jakob down in front of Treehouse with his milk and banana just in time to hear little miss -
sitting up in her crib ready to get the day started. A bottle for her and at last, coffee for me.

I get myself ready and it is out the door by 7:30am. I would normally take Jakob with us to Calgary but this morning, Ben's mom graciously offered to take him for the morning. I am so thankful for my in-laws and that they love my children almost as much as I do.

I didn't get quiet time in this morning, but the drive is a more than satisfactory consolation. There is something about driving early in the morning, when the first beams of sunlight make the autumn leaves glow.

We arrive at Alberta Children's Hospital and hurry down to the lower level where they have hidden their secret jewel - a therapeutic swimming pool. There are about 6 in Ella's pool physio session. We are all in the same boat. All of these moms have grieved their ideals, found new ones and go the extra mile and do what it takes to make sure that their child's potential is fulfilled. We sing some songs, practice floating and blowing bubbles, and work on building some core strength (Ella tends to forget she has a torso at times- so the pool really helps in working core muscles without realizing it.)

A couple of stops and we were one our way back home...

I found this adorable hat in Superstore and was inspired....Ella on the other hand was not as impressed. From time to time my wonderful mother will give me a Starbucks gift card. I think it is my love language - a sweet indulgence. And although the ride home is much different that the ride in, my pumpkin spice latte eases the rush of the afternoon commute with CBC as my soundtrack. I can feel myself becoming one of them with each mile....you know, like my husband - I am slowly catching onto their subtle music history jokes and banter and find the fact that Debussy almost became a sailor remotely interesting. 

After lunch, inspired by the above, the kids and I headed to the park. I have a feeling that this is the last real week of autumn. I am sure that in no more than a few days most of the leaves will have fallen to the ground and a chill will begin to settle on the prairies. But for now, it is warm, and beautiful.

The rest of the afternoon was spent having a little quiet time, physio, OT and speech exercises which would just look like a good play time to most onlookers, a home style supper and our regular nightly routine of baths, bottles and books. The day ended with a lovely ladies tea, conversation with good friends and couple of baby cuddles...oh, and this post.

So there you have it, day one. No time for cupcakes or tea parties but beautiful nonetheless. And as Thanksgiving creeps closer I feel affirmed in this "project" of mine (and not quite so ridiculous)  because not only does it help me find beauty it helps me to be just that much more grateful for this one beautiful life.

Makeover

I have been thinking lately that I need a makeover....or my blog needs a makeover.....or my life needs a makeover. I just feel like I am so spread out. I seriously have my fingers in everything and have a different blog for it all. I think it is because I have so many passions - my children, my husband, worship, art, nature, truth, beauty.... the list goes on, I think, maybe, I just need a one-stop shop. The trouble comes because I so badly want to speak to people, I want to inspire those around me to find beauty in the everyday. But I think that I have discovered that I don't really need a makeover - I just need to be myself. So please bare with me....

The Fear of Irony

Norm died today - he was 61. I wasn't close to Norm, in fact, I didn't know who he was until today. But needless to say he died. He was the subject of a documentary entitled Norm, which talked about the realities of living with Down Syndrome and was very influential in the Down Syndrome society.
You see most days, the fact that Ella has Down Syndrome is similar to saying that she has blue eyes. It is a part of who she is but for the most part inconsequential. Or it is consequential but only in the fact that I drive to Calgary for things I would normally do with her anyway. But I remember how when Ella was born one of my greatest fears was the fact that most individuals with Down Syndrome only live to be about 50...or less. In 1929, it was 9, and in 1949 it was about 15. I had kinda forgot about this. But hearing that Norm passed away brings it all flooding back. No parent wishes for their child to die before them.

But here is the kicker....this is not to say that my perfectly healthy 3 year old might not die before all of us of leukemia or in an accident or some unknown... Irony.

All I can do is remember the commitment I made to God when they were both born- they are His. His to use, his to take...but it doesn't mean I wouldn't miss them.

I leave you with this

The Sunday Post

Whatever happened to the sanctity of Sundays? This, here, in this moment: this is the way it should be.... A little John Mellencamp, Eva Cassidy or Norah Jones singing to the rhythm of the rain. Candles warming this quiet space I call home, hot tea, and a full tummy. Aaahhhh. This, this is the way it should be. I love the rain too much to stay on the prairies. But today, today I feel blessed because God has given me a sense of contentment and the rain.

The Truth About Keeping it Together

I don't want to know the truth. I don't care what you say, I am not ready to learn that wise, age-old lesson that You don't have to keep it together. No, yes I do. I like keeping it together. My name is Krista and I have a giant stick up my ass and I like it that way....thank you very much. (By the way I have milk slobber and blue freezie drips on my nicely pressed white collar shirt) I recognize something has got to give and so tonight my pot roast was dry and my cookies look a little different because I ran out of chocolate chips so used white chocolate chips instead. (and yesterday, I told my 3 year old to "just leave me alone".)
I lost it once before and it wasn't pretty. It was my second year of college. (My basement has lego all over the floor right now) And although not as ugly as the third, it was still pretty bad, and I would just not like to revisit the ugliness that that brought. But I feel that once I start to let go, it is like a domino effect. (I let Jakob lick the cookie dough bowl- but at least he brushed his teeth afterward.) First, its not making my bed, then the next thing you know my floor is covered in dog hair and before long I am one of those mom's that is driving their kid to school in their pajamas and CROCS! No-way. Not this mom. I will fight, fight to the death.

And I will try to instill this sense of togetherness in my children. Look at Jakob on his first day of preschool. So together....(he ate popcorn on the way there....at 8:45 in the morning.)

If you care for a glimpse into ours...

http://theewerts.wordpress.com/2010/09/10/helloseptember/

Should Down Syndrome Be Cured?

This is an interesting article I came across today. If you have the time, I would be interested to know your thoughts while I take some time to articulate my own stance on this very controversial issue.

And the winner is....

Comment #2 which is actually kmarie...and just so you all know it was fair, I only used one of her comments in the draw. Congrats! But seriously, you should all come anyway.
Thanks for participating!

Ella, Dreams, and My Obsession with Blogs.

Okay, first off, Ella. Yesterday we went into Children's for the long awaited Physio and OT appointment. Ben was quite positive but then again, Ben doesn't go in regularly with Ella and our therapists are so nice, that the average person would be quite encouraged even if they said that she would never walk...which is not the case but you see what I am saying. What they did say, was that this lull in development appears to be a motor planning issue...which has nothing to do with Down Syndrome. So the glass-half-full person would say well that is great that it has nothing to do with Down Syndrome. Being the glass-half-empty person that I am, I say, "Oh great, something else she has to work against." So what is motor planning? Well, it is basically coordination. Do you know how some people are coordinated and can watch somebody do something, like areobics, and pick it up with no problem? And then others fumble around a basic sway and clap motion? That's motor planning. So any of you that know me, can see why this would bother me. I am a dancer- this has never been an issue. Yet another challenge for not just Ella but myself because what Ella needs is to have someone break it down for her and explain it. "Plan out the motion". I accept the challenge, I embrace it, but I do wish she didn't have just another hurdle to conquer. On the up side, although, not speech therapists, they were very impressed with Ella's speech. She is quite conversational even though most of her sentances consist of "tseh" and "dah". But she speaks in turn and today (drum roll please...) she did her first sign all by herself. Of course it was "more". GO ELLA!
Next, dreams. It is no secret that at some point Ben is going to do his Masters. So, much of our driving time is spent speculating on where this might take us....which leads me to My Obsession with Blogs. Obviously, if he goes somewhere cool (not U of A or UBC) I would obviously, totally blog about our adventures and blogger, I am sorry to say, as it stands independantly, is not going to cut it. I will also need to condense my portfolio to maybe say 2 blogs instead of 3, which I have now, or 4 if I started a new one just for the occassion which, might I add, will be called Life as a Musicians Wife. It sounds lame but if you heard us talk and dream about the possibilities you would understand how spectacular it could be. I need Photographic capacities which I maxamize on Wordpress, but there is something about blogger that I like. Stay tuned....who knows what life will bring.

Drama

In life there are people who carry drama around with them like the latest accessory. Those people, of course, would never admit to being "drama queens" but everybody else seems to notice it. Ben and I have seriously had to question recently, if we are those people. Of course, we would not consider ourselves dramatic people, but it confrontation/drama/conflict seems to follow us. These past couple of weeks have be no exception. I don't like it. Some may disagree but truth be told, I don't like confrontation. This may be just one reason why I say things exactly as I mean them - to avoid misunderstanding or...drama and yet, it is because of this direct approach to communication that I sometimes find myself in the middle of a hurricane. I feel beaten to the ground and kicked into submission, for no mal-intent whatsoever.  I suppose it is the cost of leadership. It's our job to run interference at times, some more than others. Needless to say, I am tired. So I think for autumn I will go into hibernation with some apple pie and tea. Oh and my Ella...to make this post not so depressing.